I have insecurities, real ones, big ones, I get to be so hard on myself and be unforgiving, when I fail, I take it hard and seriously, I don't sleep on it, I don't laugh at it. I die a little inside for the failures and mistakes I did. I get obsessed into thinking, I get conscious of my acts, I would hate the way I look, I'd feel fat, and couldn't stop looking at the mirror.
People around me, my husband makes me see things the way I wouldn't. My family loves me right or wrong, my friends are always there to make things better. But sometimes, I ruin those beliefs too.
No one sees what's inside of me, no one will laugh when they do. I am too afraid to lose any of my loved ones, I am too afraid to be alone. I am too afraid to be seen sad and weak.
The love of others keep me alive, they are my life and I would lose sanity if I have to let go. Each of them has made me who I am and I'm afraid that I may have just twisted my dependency for love.
These are my thoughts right now, some other days aren't like this, some other days are bright and positive. These are just emotions.... That's taking me over, caught up in sorrow lost in...now! don't sing the whole piece!
we all have moments like this.
4 comments:
We ALL have moments like this. You are so right...and know that I popped in to tell you how much I appreciate your "rawness." Long time no visit. It's good to know you're still here. :)
:) yup been busy for a while, thanks for dropping by! :)
raw is one of the most beautiful. honesty can be scary or painful but once confronted, the metamorphosis is poignant :)
thank you, i visited your blog devilishlypleasurable and its awesome! i like. :)
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