Wednesday, September 15, 2010

raw

In everyday I find love and reasons to continue what I do and keep living. I don't live just for the sake of living. I can truly say that I live for others and those others are my life. I value friends, web and real-life friends, family, people I work with, people I meet constantly. I value trust, honesty and loyalty. I am a true friend and will stick with you, right or wrong I will find reasons to my staying, you'll never be alone until you say no more.

I have insecurities, real ones, big ones, I get to be so hard on myself and be unforgiving, when I fail, I take it hard and seriously, I don't sleep on it, I don't laugh at it. I die a little inside for the failures and mistakes I did. I get obsessed into thinking, I get conscious of my acts, I would hate the way I look, I'd feel fat, and couldn't stop looking at the mirror.

People around me, my husband makes me see things the way I wouldn't. My family loves me right or wrong, my friends are always there to make things better. But sometimes, I ruin those beliefs too.

No one sees what's inside of me, no one will laugh when they do. I am too afraid to lose any of my loved ones, I am too afraid to be alone. I am too afraid to be seen sad and weak.

The love of others keep me alive, they are my life and I would lose sanity if I have to let go. Each of them has made me who I am and I'm afraid that I may have just twisted my dependency for love.

These are my thoughts right now, some other days aren't like this, some other days are bright and positive. These are just emotions.... That's taking me over, caught up in sorrow lost in...now! don't sing the whole piece!

we all have moments like this.


4 comments:

Ileana said...

We ALL have moments like this. You are so right...and know that I popped in to tell you how much I appreciate your "rawness." Long time no visit. It's good to know you're still here. :)

scribbling sassy said...

:) yup been busy for a while, thanks for dropping by! :)

devilishlypleasurable said...

raw is one of the most beautiful. honesty can be scary or painful but once confronted, the metamorphosis is poignant :)

scribbling sassy said...

thank you, i visited your blog devilishlypleasurable and its awesome! i like. :)