my kind of cloud

It's been so rainy and cold, all gloomy and grey. I like it. I know only a few does but I don't complain much about the rain more than I complain about the sun. Wet feet and all.

When I lived for a short time in Italy exactly 4 years ago now (whoa! Where'd time go?) I'd walk outside on chilly nights that the old lady next door had to come by and "italian" talked me about catching a bad cold and worse pneumonia if I continue what I do at 8 o'clock after dinner when everyone's bundled up and probably snoozing. She's right, I must be nuts to do so. But the crisp, chilly air feels so good when I breathe, like sucking in menthol as if it'd clear up my lungs and all of my insides. Like it'd cleanse all the pollution I breathed in for all the years that I've been alive. I'd walk the snow barefoot and it didn't hurt. What is wrong with me???My past life could be an arctic bear. (with little patience and big appetite of course)

There is no winter here where I live. The Philippines has no drizzling snow, no ice capped mountains, no use for sleds and snow angels... Just the sun sunny summer and the rain rainy days of the cold season. Tropical.

The beach here are amazing, but I don't know why I love the rainy months best.



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Fit.

so never try to outrun this guy next to me cuz he has no plan of stopping. Why am I being so competitive over something I'm just beginning to love. Anyone can run of course I mean if you can, why not?! I had seen a potential in myself for running and that skipping rope, yess. That I, within 20 minutes began to look like manny pacquaio or rocky balboa if you may, skipping into rhythms like I've been doing this my whole life. I stopped before I freak myself out for being too good at first try... And it wasn't that skippity hop we used to do as little girls, it was boxer-like and whoa! I...I got scared of myself that I can possibly outdo my trainer, who can do one legged skip rope, show off! ;(

Anyway, I'm not super fit. I try. I do lots of treadmill and drink lots of water. I try to eat healthy, though it's easier said than done. I can't skip rice, I dream of rice but rice is evil, it does stay in the rolls of belly that I have since... Uhm... All my life? I want it gone. I want it out. But it stays incessantly, so never mind. I'm not too hard on myself, I make good excuses for not looking like a babe. It's okay, I'm fine. I brush my teeth and smile, that'll do.

Uhm... Work is good. I work hard. I know what i'm doing and that's great. The husband laughed when I said "I'm happy that my work is related to my job" ... Err... I'll leave it at that.haha I can get into trouble if I try to elaborate.

So I hope you too is breezily doing your day. I hope everyones good and laughing.... Smiling is easier, go do it a lot.






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money money money

And so I sit busy for almost a week now and has totally neglected anything that has to do with society and social networking. I was mad busy in the office trying to get my numbers right on how much should a building project will cost in Italy when done in the china factory. So my life revolved around millions of dollars that are just pictures and figures in my head that I wish I could someday get my hands on. I could really use some millions of dollars in my life you know.

What is it like to have everything you want when you want it? Is it hard to become a good person when you can buy anything? I've never been "money" rich, I mean I just have enough for everything and that's just how it's been all my life, you don't work, you don't save, you don't have money.

And when having money, it must always go to the bills and important/needed stuff not for frills and bits of things I'll wake up guilty about and my pockets cry.

I just wonder how it is, but it's always okay to be me anyhow. We can work and wait and hope and keep living, anyway... That's what it is about, if you've got goals, you tend to live with much passion. If I have everything then what would I want?




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Sassy Says

haha




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care for a sassy roast?

 

all smiles! Sassy Scribbles is up on the Sunday Roast with Eddie at Clouds and Silvery Linings!  see HERE!

I'm just totally :))

                                                

Hello Hello

hello! Hope everyone's good because today is one of those breezy days when I can hop around greeting everyone pleasant things with a tight hug if possible.

Happy Friday all!

all's well.

OK. so let's rev it up! We have been talking about the journeys of a human soul through depression and weaknesses plus the loss of a follower...uhm...ok that human soul was mine and the journey? well... after a day, I'm fine. The only emotions and actions I can control is MINE, so I shouldn't be such a sucker, should I? :) I mean, sucker isn't a nice word...so let's use LOSER. haha...okay. kidding.

Anyhoo, I've discovered something about myself lately...no, it isn't about how I like eating rice and banana together! ... This new quirk of mine, is something I just discovered while watching the UAAP Cheerdance Competition... I've been watching cheerdances before but why all of a sudden I felt like quivering over CLUSTERED, MOVING, OBJECTS?! why oh why? can somebody please explain this to me?!!!

Thank you. here's the culprit. The UAAP Cheerdance Competition 2010, won by University of the Philippines (UP)

thank you 102

1 follower gone away and far, far away to a place where he/she/it won't be able to view me and read my posts that are irrelevant to him/her/it. It's always sad to see that your numbers are down by one...whew.glad it's only 1 for today. I feel faint already haha. But this is just like LIFE. People come and go, they befriend you and sometimes they smile but they don't mean instant friendship, people may choose to be your ally as well as can also choose to be on the other side of the fence, watching you, curious about you but would never get close to you, up until you find out that he/she/it have the same love for socks ankle-high, strong coffee, fried eggplants and rain, things you can enjoy together and become friends.

You talk, you make comments, you listen to each others stories, you look at the pictures he/she/it took for you to see and you appreciate that he/she/it had placed it on a pretty page purposely for your viewing. Sometimes, I would go away...far and long. I wouldn't say a word but will always feel guilty and wondering what could have happened to you while I was gone and the same thing, you would wonder where I had been and why I have not written anything. A "block" has hindered my going and writing to you, sorry... sometimes, friends do need a space-off a bit but isn't it always a wonder how you hit it off right back to where you left? 'Just like that! No real drama, you're back to make your presence known, you're back to listen and be listened to with nothing but the REAL you.

102 followers, like tiny buttercup blossoms in spring, I want to keep you all smiling and happy. I like seeing you all clustered in a bunch of bright bouquet in my page, with your pretty faces and smiles. Thank you very much for sticking around through all my stories, through ups and downs, thank you! :)

Now, let's do some skipping rope...uhm, seriously, I just did 100 of that at the gym yesterday and it's fun. That's what friends do, they skip rope and laugh, the picture books said so. haha... now, lets.

(chelseawoosh)

because u have to see this...

and if you wait long enough, the REMIX was a genius! :D

raw

In everyday I find love and reasons to continue what I do and keep living. I don't live just for the sake of living. I can truly say that I live for others and those others are my life. I value friends, web and real-life friends, family, people I work with, people I meet constantly. I value trust, honesty and loyalty. I am a true friend and will stick with you, right or wrong I will find reasons to my staying, you'll never be alone until you say no more.

I have insecurities, real ones, big ones, I get to be so hard on myself and be unforgiving, when I fail, I take it hard and seriously, I don't sleep on it, I don't laugh at it. I die a little inside for the failures and mistakes I did. I get obsessed into thinking, I get conscious of my acts, I would hate the way I look, I'd feel fat, and couldn't stop looking at the mirror.

People around me, my husband makes me see things the way I wouldn't. My family loves me right or wrong, my friends are always there to make things better. But sometimes, I ruin those beliefs too.

No one sees what's inside of me, no one will laugh when they do. I am too afraid to lose any of my loved ones, I am too afraid to be alone. I am too afraid to be seen sad and weak.

The love of others keep me alive, they are my life and I would lose sanity if I have to let go. Each of them has made me who I am and I'm afraid that I may have just twisted my dependency for love.

These are my thoughts right now, some other days aren't like this, some other days are bright and positive. These are just emotions.... That's taking me over, caught up in sorrow lost in...now! don't sing the whole piece!

we all have moments like this.

And I'm just gonna leave this here

Enjoy the week!

-sassy

9/11 - we will NEVER forget .

-The ones who lost their lives
-The ones that had families waiting for them at home
-The ones that were innocent and didn’t do anything
-The ones at the WTC.
-The ones at the pentagon
-The ones that boarded flight 93
-The ones that boarded flight 77
-The ones that boarded flight 11
-The ones that boarded flight 175

All of your lives will be remembered. R.I.P.

(thewishgirl) (liliana)

the bright side

yes, pat on the back, some tea and a lot of dancing has gotten me off the curb. i should really start picking the pieces up 'cuz this life isn't for giving up. yeah, i didn't get promoted, i weigh myself down too much with that, like i dont have anything else than my job! tsk.tsk. i'm going to give this another try. i'm not going to sit and wallow on the fact that maybe i'm being evaluated badly because i prance around the office like a mad dancer and smile a lot like NO PRESSURE has ever gotten me. OF COURSE, i get pressured, who doesn't? i just happen to be smiling a lot. but yeah, maybe that, maybe i'm not taken seriously cuz i never look sad and wrinkly like a tomato put to a boil.

i've started to be more proper, tight lipped and not smiling like Christmas is just 100+ days to go. I try. I try though I slip a few times being too giddy for coffee. omg! seriously I need to grow up.

anyway, sassyscribbles just as you know her will bounce back and be prancing around like a mad dancer ... in the gym, because that's where i'm supposed to be doing that. i will keep my head up and promise to be better, promise to be a lot better!

i love you always.

good times now!

So I took a day leave, it's no surprise that I would, in fact they somehow expected that my reaction will be just so. Vocal and irrepressible. I did not get the promotion, yeah. Sucks.

But then, it's a reckoning. I may have to ask myself what I want to do with my life from this day that I'm utterly neglected. Anyone who doesn't get promoted in 3 years should really, really do some deep thinking...if this isn't happening, something should somewhere.




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Sassy Says

Throwing Punches

Finally I just had the zest to go to the gym and really work it I have to confess I... I'm sometimes at the gym but is too lazy to do weights, I find it funny to pump the machine for reason that non of the trainers understand. I don't know i just find the lifting of iron funny. I don't look the part that's why! My arms aren't buffed, my belly has rolling abs ( not the type you'd want) ... I don't want to look disappointing to those who wants to work it! So I stay clear. But maybe later (in life) I'll find the whole thing sensible.

What I do is lots of running, dancing, I mean prancing around the room like a mad dancer, and that thing that throws punches (yeah) that one I like! I have a slight problem though with my limbs... They go crazy with music! :)

It's all good. Everyone must have some form of exercise. The one that you really like to do and eventually you'll feel lighter and happier and those dresses will fit... Well I have a whole lifetime to make that possible, though I'm not that big but I guess they just made those dresses really, really small. tsk.tsk. One day, you'll see. One day.yes.



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sassy says

sassy says

Oh it's nothing! We'll get by, it's a matter of getting the right vibes and top it with positive thoughts! Yeah... I mean yeah... Well yeah!




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The baddest post

It's okay, I mean not everyone will like you. I make devious plans too. But yours was just evil, how can you do that? How can you go through life with conscience ringing in your ear? Or maybe not, no conscience at all... Sometimes, I want to learn that, sometimes I want to be able to move with nothing to stop me, ( I have lots of hang ups) like if someone makes me angry I could go beyond clenching my jaw and actually bad mouth the person too! Sometimes I want to be bad... Really bad. But I'm extremely shy and before I could talk, I have already psyched myself out with a joke.

Where's all that edginess? I want to get some of that! I look the part but the actual talking isn't growing on me yet. Let it grow!!! I don't like sunflowers anymore! I don't like pink bunnies and rainbow cakes! I want Black. Black. Black. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Hmmnn...(10 mins later)

Okay, no. It's alright. I know I get tired of being pushed around. I have a side in me that's just uncool. Sometimes, we're off the flow, we don't get to move like everyone else all the time and it's usually okay to be just that as long as you don't hurt anybody, but sometimes, bad isn't so bad. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get the best than better.

It's the competition that brings out the best and the worst in us.

I don't hate bunnies! I won't. I'm just going out of the box and see something else.






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peace please.

News. Everywhere on TV is about the Bus Stand off with 8 foreign hostages dead. We held our breaths for more than 2 hours before the tragic end as we attentively watched, prayed, 'hoped for the best but expected the worst.

Such a shame.We don't need this kind of attention, we don't need this kind of selfish act to show the world. What about the hard-working public, who are honest tax payers and dreams for their children. Everyone's smeared. Everyone's soiled on their faces.

Nobody cares around here anymore. I totally felt abandoned. My Dreams are My Dreams and that's what's wrong!

=====

But that's just for a brief moment...my life, no matter what... I love my country and the people here, what happened is a lone act of a man who for whatever reason has no right to threat and take other people's lives. It's never a country to blame.

So I will continue to be good and do good.

'heads up!

sassy

Doors and Manners

omg. Sorry I was mean, I'm not usually like this, i rarely make complaints, my patience is usually long when I'm to deal with people to get services or when somebody did not hold the door for me and I got struck in the head really hard! Okay that was it... A guy that I was following didn't hold the door long enough for somebody (that's me) to get grip of the handle and at least slowed the door from swinging at me! The guy knew he had hurt someone (that's me) but stood there and was speechless ... Aren't you supposed to say "sorry?" ...

He just turned and walked, so I walked faster past him and said "That was shitty!" ... I know that isn't so classy on an early Monday morning but hey... he shook up my brains with the door smacking my head, my patience isn't so stretchy with things like that. You are supposed to hold doors when you know someone is walking in a second after you! That's just how it goes!!! That's like manners!

I do that all the time, regardless if you're young or old, balding or punk. Doors aren't too heavy these days! Hold them.

Anyway, still I'm sorry I was swearing at the guy till I reached my office, sorry GUY whoever you are, I'm really sorry, it's just bad what you did.

goodbye sweet Melody.

'have lost words ... i usually don't.

Melody Adelaide Gersbach  (click for news details)

she's from my hometown, a small town girl from my province Albay... my sister had last spoken to her this July ... i don't know what to say... still can't believe it. So young, so beautiful, so nice... we needed more people like her...it's tragic, it's unthinkable.

We are all so fragile.

Today my ever responsible acting like his age husband set up a budget for me... By the way, it's nothing new for everyone who's been sticking around sassy for long, this isn't new... Yes, the budget has not included shoes, how could a guy wear the same shoes for like 9 years and still do second-thinking if they should get a new pair??? ... Uh well my husband isn't really like that but he sticks with his shoes for long.

Anyway, today was a breeze my job has treated me well with a task that I can do blindfolded! Thank god! I wish it's always Friday like this! I'm already trying to slow down and feel... Though I had moments when I again relied on sheer guts and fast moving fingers that I have appeared impatient in text messaging a friend! Gee, I should just make a call next time and won't text ever! I get agitated for replies!!!

So now I'm heading out to the gym and do some dancing...

WARNING: dancing is dangerous to your health stay as far as possible from me, my limbs have lives of their own, I won't be held responsible if I get contagious!

Happy weekend all, let's dance!

Love from here,
Sassy


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circle

you can rarely find me in a melancholic mood if you do don't count on it to last long. I need to see a Therapist or something, I might be going crazy...I'm bored to death with my routine of work, running and facebook, of course this isn't a world issue but if anyone can tell me what this is, help! I'm always hyper, always in a bright sun shiny mood but deep inside i know I needed to feel some pain, some hurt whenever someone or something upsets me I should at least feel off about it when someone has done something wrong to me but then I don't. I keep some little grudge for a very short while then i just move on and laugh at the ironies. I know being optimistic is good but I'm afraid of not being able to feel. really feel. And I miss it. I miss being able to slow down and feel things around me, I want to take things little at a time and get to know it better. I'm constantly learning and moving which is good but I know I lose some sense of meaning to what I do because I'm always rushing which is also what my world is all about, being quick, motivated and decisive.

Stop. Turn and Smile. Maybe a smile is going to be more meaningful than a laugh that I readily give when something good or bad happens I can easily laugh at myself but maybe... If I walk slow each pace would mean a thing, maybe if I listen and not "auto" respond to a text message maybe I will be able to understand (uhm... Okay, nobody can read emotions through text) so that's a joke. Maybe if I slow down, just slow down... Breathe. Feel and look in the eyes of people who talks to me, maybe I won't have to see a therapist, maybe I'll get some answers, maybe I will be alright and am not really crazy.

Annoyed.

And the sun comes up while I'm dressed for the cold. Thank you. I'm very pleased with my portable sauna!!!




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Sassy Says

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Uh-oh.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies sometimes it's a smog and a weasel. Depends on how ironic life can be everyday. That you want things done but can't see the end of it. I got loads of projects in mind, I wanna do crochet, I wanna repaint our bedroom, I wanna have pictures printed, I wanna do boxing... I wanna sign up for marathons, but all these will have to wait until my daily routine of work and housework would allow me for all that. Anyway, I made such a ruckus on facebook after I posted a status that says: "had a breastfeeding lecture" ... Everyone I know were ecstatic and left such wonderful comments, thanking God for such a miracle of a baby. Say what??? Who says were expecting? The assuming minds and reading between the lines could lead to trouble, sometimes we just need to see things as it is or in this case, read things as it is. I just listened to a friend sharing her breastfeeding experience, what gives that I'm pregnant? :) Anyway, it's still nice to see who cares and prays with us to have one, and for sure when it's really happening, they're more than happy with the news I'm gonna have to deactivate my facebook account cuz I'd be so overwhelmed with the responses I'm going to be so stressed! Hehe. I had all that figured out! :D

Love,

Sassy

sassy says

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Randomness is pretty.

Once done stoking the fire till it chokes, I should be well moving on, but the good vibes aren't chanting my song...I want to hear it tell me the certain and not just the thrills of a new beginning. I want it to tell me that everything I planned and hoped for will come true. Uhm...yeah, I'm mad to say I want and I want things definite right now, I don't want second guessing things and get stuck in the middle. Look I'm 29 I should have lessened my growing up years by half! But seems like I plan to live up to 200 that I've got lots of growing up to do and I'm nowhere near adulthood!!! How am I supposed to become a mom when I need a mom myself!!!! Ugh... Mom? Don't do the wide grin, I know you want me to be 5 forever but... Hey I got a wonderful husband that needs me to be 29 :) he's 30 and he's old, lucky me he's old. I get fed and the household budget is safe. I'm just for the floor mopping and ironing clothes, and the dishes but the rest including the laundry is a "take-turns" duty... I can't be left alone or I'll starve!!! .... Ok now thats a lie! KFC has a number for a reason such as me and people like me...

Anyway stop grinning at back of your heads and feel sorry for me now. Oh haha. Nah, kidding. I'll survive and can brave it all. I just want people around and make them feel needed, if mom wants to show me how to mend our burnt shirts from all the ironing I did, I let her... She's a mom, we need moms! She knows all things. She never runs out of money and her budget is always good... How does she do it, I don't know. She always smell nice and keeps her face moisturized! I used to watch her when I was young how she does her face and put on her lipstick... Even at times when she's just going to do the laundry, she's powdered and cologned! Classic.

How come I just do laundry straight out of bed! Oooow! Are you supposed to know that?

Anyway friends, I'm always out of the box, never seem to be in sync with anything, but that's okay, sometimes the randomness makes it all pretty, so yes... Even if I don't know what's ahead I'm counting on sheer guts and your prayers :)

Love from here,

Sassy


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yes.

                                   

'need i say more? happy August everyone! may this month be the one you're waiting for... I do would love a salary increase for a boxing training...say whut? :) oh sassy...says whatever.

me, passionate.

I have a sick sense of humor and yes sometimes I get annoying but most of the time I'm just the one friend you might want to stay when things go a little too quiet for you, or when things get a bit too busy. we can chill, relax and just be laid back. I can do laid back, perhaps I've been laying back for so long now that I don't ever wanna go to work tomorrow, my mind is constantly just resting, it doesn't wanna do what it's supposed to do anymore ... clad those skyscrapers. I've been telling you this my friend for quite sometime now, we've been up and down this whole passion and work thing that you probably just want to smack me in the head for still doing what I do if I hate it so much then why?! :)

these teenage kids

                        "They laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're all the same :)"

I read this somewhere, on a kid's blog actually... 14 is still a kid, I don't want them to grow old ever! These kids are so smart now you can't tell them a thing, but hey look at what one of them got for a quote. I like it.

When I was 14 (here we go...like how my mom tells it) ... I wasn't into boys yet, (that's how my mom tells it ...) ugh, yes, I was into boys, crushing on nerds and the quiet types, I wasn't into athletes ... I was more drawn to boys who were quiet and lanky...I mean tall and lanky, no muscles, no rock bands and no gangs. Though of course they were always the good looking ones, I just never thought of dating one... OR I wasn't asked to date one. Haha. I was tall and boyish, I was never the queen of anything, I was with big hair and crooked teeth that my friends now gasp in seeing me like I had a head transplant or something sooo dramatic they wouldn't believe I am ME. Of course I'm ME. I just went to a really good dentist and got these really expensive veneers and I now use a shampoo that I chose and not what's in the house for the whole family to use back then :)

But all the while when I was a teen, I never thought I wasn't cool. Though there were times that I wish I was more popular or prettier, I wasn't into that by the time I was 14 I've made really good friends that are like my sisters up to now. But I also had a time when I didn't know who I was and what I'd be in school without a group to be with, I was 13 and had to literally work my way up to be friends with these pretty, popular girls, doing crazy, stupid things like powdering my nose every 4 seconds ... and doing their projects. I was such a loser at that time when I wanted to be friends with these people who aren't even that nice to me. Who'd date the boy I like just to prove that they could have what they want and I can't. sucks right? ... But a year later, I met new friends... I wasn't all that popular but I wasn't slacking in school. I got into art, into sports, into music, into the school paper ... the works. I was a geek, but we don't care. We were having so much fun being together, that we knew we'd be friends FOREVER and that we are.

I think that today's kids are really smart, they know what they want and they'll do it. I'm 29 now and what I did when I was 14 made me who I am... I still don't think I'm all that BIG deal, but I know I'm grounded, I know where my values are and I know what kind of choices to make. We all learn that while we were young, while we were easily forgiven for a mistake ...It's way different now, you make a mistake, you pay for it really gooood. People don't forget easily when you're a grown up making all these bad choices. They will tear you up, they will give you sleepless nights, they will never forget and everything will seem different. How I wish we could all be resilient like kids...We make a mistake and then we try to forgive and be friends again. BUT then, make sure the mistake isn't intentional because that's not the same.

I want us all to be fair to each other, to be loving and giving. I don't care if you're pretty or popular or if you're rich, I have no issues with that SINCE I WAS 14, I've seen enough of that... you can be all that flashy but tell me what you really are and I'll tell you if you're worth it.

Have a good day bloggies!

with much love,

Sassy

hello I missed you

hi it's been a while. I've been off the circuit but I'm alive and there isn't a day that I haven't thought of you, how you are, what I missed, anyone who's been down and up again while I was gone, I'm sorry I really wished I was there to cheer you up, though I know blogger has plenty good people who wouldn't leave you as I have. Sorry... I wasn't there to make comments though you know sassy would always mean well. I missed you all and I hope I wouldn't hit a writer's block again cuz it did hurt to see other people hitting it off like writing is an unseen limb that functions naturally. I'm just ordinary, with ordinary stories, with ordinary life... Nothing so special except that I know how buildings are built and how boring they make my life done over and over! I wish I was into music or theater acting for which I can make excuses for my temper and mood swings... Artist. That's who I want to be but I don't know what I'm doing...why I'm doing what I'm doing and still gonna do it tomorrow. I want to live my dreams if you know what I mean... And my dreams aren't even realistic. Anyway, let's not go to that... I missed talking to you like an old friend, we don't know how long we've been apart but we sure to pick up where we left... I'm sorry again, I will be a good friend and not go missing and probably make you wonder where I was and what was I doing, because that's what friends do, checking on each other,well ... I'm okay, I have been away from blogging but life went on, I was normal... uhm...
Somehow normal, with my husband always great and perfect... We are trying to be parents oh yeah that's a great news! We are wanting to be parents, so bad.

But you know were still leaving it all to GOD's will. We can be parents in many other ways. If were not blessed with our own maybe our purpose is to make other kids our own... They need parents too you know. Some couples are put to that purpose I hope realization hits them.

Anyway. Glad to see you all again! Take care. I will be hopping around to see how's everyone doing :)

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Some days

Are like this when you get to challenge yourself to be good and struggle with all your might to present yourself nicely? You fail.

I'm trying to be good. I'm trying to be someone who will be taken by others positively. I wanna be that rainbow aura that
everybody loves at first sight.

Well... We can't please everybody that's what they say all the time. No matter how the great majority adores you there'll be some who'll want to tear your gutts out! So beware not to get close or they'll tear your gutts out you, hear me! Just stay clear and say the things they want to hear, you can only be too honest to people who are your friends and they won't lie when they say they hate what you said! But to these people who aren't even your friends but dare to hurt your feelings... Be nice. If you still have loyal friends with you it means you're good. So don't let them get you down.

loyal friend,
Sassy

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The Gorgeousness

I have real insecurities though it's hard to tell cuz I don't really mind being seated in between two gorgeous models in the gym looking so out of place that people could wonder what kind of nerve has grown on me that I don't budge.

Anyway, yes you can tell me about the inner beauty that matters, but...my insecurity has nothing to do with that aspect, at Ieast I know within myself that I'm a "loving" kind of person... Teehee...hee. what I have is an insecurity that could only be caused by a tall, slimmer figure and gorgeous brains. yes! They are everywhere, I've known one brilliant surgeon who's real beauty on the outside doesn't hurt. Witty, charming, elegant and all that fabulousness were cast upon her and I wasn't there when the "casting" spell happened to human kind.

But anyway, the point of it all is just to love who you are and be your best self. The only person who can live your life is you. So take it as it is because for sure, there will be more times in your life when you'll get to meet people who seem to have it all. Instead of cursing the mirror, why not just let them be in their fabulous selves and you be your best self. I need effort to be beautiful cuz I wasn't blessed with a perfect complexion and that forever long legs! I do take time moisturizing everyday and flossing, cuz some can be just devastatingly beautiful even if they had just woke up with rustled hair and puffy eyes... They could still land that Ralph Lauren campaign I tell you!

So yes, imma be my best self. I love me, don't you just love you?

Have a happy Friday!

love from Manila,
Sassy

Sassy Photo of the Day

me and my forever.


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Sassy Photo of the Day

Me and my best girl Liza


-Winter in Connecticut, 2008

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idle

Passing time
Don't fall inlove with me
I know I have been bad
Don't call on me
Don't awaken me at night
Don't lie to yourself

Passing time
Do not come and stay like you know me
I am not a friend
I dazzle you for nothing.
Don't flatter yourself.


Do not stare like you do
Do not melt my youthful spirit
You can't cheat your fate
I tell you to play fair.

Passing time
I'm letting you go
so go now go.

-sassy in her idleness wrote this.
have a bright happy day ahead bloggies!

Sassy Photo of the Day

me and my bestfriend for life.


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The stern look

It's just the look it's not who I really am when you get to know me I give loud laughs and giggle like a sunkissed blooming bud! (huh? whatever!) ok. So I look quite serious and pouty to people I don't know personally, why? what am I supposed to do act fun? Who acts fun when you're alone waiting for your doctor to see you, or when you're at the gym trying to complete your routine and you're getting stares... I'm not a snob but there are just times when I'm not in the mood to chat :( and then I get stern looks.

Well, let me explain to you my friends that when you're a Filipino it's rude to be in a room with someone and not talking...You always have to open up and talk about your life. Say as many nice things as you can and for starters you must always say "hello" that's basic, and then you move on to how you are, where you from, how old are you, are you married? Stuff like that... You always, always have to say something or get stern looks.

It even escalates to a higher level when you're out of the
Country and you meet a fellow Filipino ... Aahh... This is making me smile... As I rant about the complexities of our social behavior, I owe a lot to people I do not know and talked to me when I was on travel... I met friendly people who took me in their house, cooked me hot meals and toured me around for free! ... Sorry, I was even thinking this. Sorry I was not sociable at times when I know I have to only come out of the house when I'm my best friendly self. It's like a social responsibility to always be in a good mood when around someone. Happy vibes are contagious so let's spread that! It's not normal here to mope around alone.

By the way, when I see those people again, I will talk.

Have a happy Tuesday!

Love from Manila,
Sassy


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here's to heroes day!

History can be boring at times... (nah, I'm pretending to be cool saying that!) I actually like history, one of the best subjects I had in school, I like names and places, biographies and stuff like that. Sadly, most involve wars and I'm plainly sick of it. We can make heroes out of people without getting them to shoot anyone for the country... or getting them shot for the country... who can undo that if war is just a mind game between the heads of state and generals who, most of the time live to see their retirement.

sigh* Anyway, Araw ng Kagitingan or Heroes Day in the Philippines is in commemoration of the death march from Bataan to Tarlac. (It's really, really far --- they are two provinces) American and Filipino soldiers were made to walk in surrender to the Japanese.

What the heck were they doing in our land?... oh the glory of war, Japan and the US wanted to station themselves in the Philippines as a military base for southeast Asia, but in the end after the two warring countries are done bombarding Manila and Bataan with bombs and guns everyday for 5 months... they left. Leaving the Philippines in rubble.

Yes, we have had glory days pre-war, there were theatres, schools, churches in the rubble. I saw it...we recently went to visit the ruins in Bataan which is now an island without residents, its open only for the touring public on scheduled dates. What a creepy sight it was, it's a deserted island trapped in time... the rubble are still there even the artillery.

                                still there, see?

                               you wont believe how big this tunnel is, it's like a village inside.

                                still on guard for battle ship since 1942

                                people don't usually stick their heads in a barrel, but that's just me.

                               imagine bombs falling from the sky EVERYDAY for 5 months!!!

                                where will you hide?

                                barracks (did u know these bombings were simultaneous with the 

                                Pearl Harbor attack?)

                                Reforested: the trees weren't spared, the whole island was on fire.

                                old cinema

                                 bullet ridden walls

                                             sophisticated at that time, this one can rise above the walls 

                                             and contract again, it rotates too!

a remnant of this war  (World War II)

99 red balloons!

for the 99 talented followers I got...usually, I follow you around too! :)) and so the feeling is mutual. I love you!

***
sassy

at the brink of stalking taylor momsen

i know she's a bad girl.

anyway, i like her style, she puts on a lot of layers... I dunno how that will work in a tropical country like ours, BLACK.black and some more black. Anyway... yeah she's very cool. I like to be cool, but I'm never like the coolest girl, I always feel geeky though I do hang out with some cool people...I'm still the geekiest among them.

well, enough of the blahness... I love you guys!

it's a holiday in manila, this friday is Araw ng Kagitingan Day (Heroes Day)
LOOOOOng Weekend yes!!!

love,

sassy

Sassy Photo of the Day

Only Doc Martens can make floral boots and make them look cool!








Good Morning from Manila!

Sassy

It's been a long day. I'm finally back to the " loves" of my life... Shop Drawings! Yay! It doesn't mean anything to you I know haha and it doesn't mean much to me before I got the chance to do some again... It feels good, it's racking my brain but at least I'm back to where I'm supposed to be, to do what I'm supposed to do... If I may tell you, I had been tasked to do material counting... It's counting the pieces of materials to be ordered for a building. No fun in that! It's crucial and it's in Excel format, I'm not really good at it... Make me draw many parts and pieces of a building but but not the counting... It makes me lose sleep!

Anyhoo, were off to visit our friend Shann, she gave birth to a baby girl named Sabina, I bet she's really fat and cute!!!

Ciao everyone! Have a goodnight from
Manila!

Sassy
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Photo of the Day

This is why I sometimes want to eat a Krabby Patty.



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Object of the Day

Matte not Glossy. :))



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13 hours ahead

So what do you do with your life while sitting in the bus and can't be lesser productive? Flicker your eyes twice as much, watch other passengers in the dark, try to get sleep, pray that the driver stays awake, listen to music (that's a classic choice) or talk on the phone with someone as if you're the only one on board with nasty boredom and have to harass others with your talking! Hang up you seatmate!

Sassy

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baaaackk.

so that was a bit of a scare, ‘dont know why all of a sudden I got panicky flying back to manila…Ive been all over for the past 5 years, some on even longer trips but this one was like the ride of my life. why and how come? I sure want to know.
oh well, life. It sometimes make you wonder about things then later realize it to be pointless. I sometimes think to be half-dreaming while wondering BUT at a latter thought … it is yeah, POINTLESS. :D
anyway, ‘glad to be back and seeing some beautiful posts on blogger…the colors and the life story behind it makes my coming back worth it. :))
hugs ans happy Easter to all!

sassy

Grande

Okay so here goes the details! Swanky swanky Shangrila thanks! I know now why staring up at you was worth my wishing... You're so grand. At least for me if you have happen to be in a better place this is it so far for me. So, be happy we were treated nicely and got the biggest room they have! We totally feel like Hollywood so we invited friends over and ate... Pizza... Ok laugh... Haha we were lauhing too but that's okay... Even if we just ate pizza at least we had some really good wine and laughs, so that makes the whole thing great! the place was smelling really nicely and the lights got crazy hues that makes my color look healthy! I love it! But I won't be betting to come back soon at my wallet's risk! This place is worth 10,000+ a night!!! jeez... Now you get me?

Sassy


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Happy weekend! I love you!

Food galore! Just as I missed running for 3 days... I'm now in a feeding frenzy! thanks for feeding me all that happy ice cream and happy cake and happy fried chicken! ... Nom nom nom!

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Careful what you wish for

So excited to chill at the Shangrila hotel this weekend and summon my inner Holly Golightly. I won't be able to afford a room in Shangrila unless my wallet itches absurdly. A room costs a month worth my apartment rent and up! So would I? No.

But because I'm truly blessed with LUCK, I will have to spend a weekend with my husband in this luxurious hotel. We won it at the Christmas raffle last year, second prize while a friend of ours won the 1st prize which is a trip for 2 to Hong Kong...arent we lucky?! I used to stare up at the lit rooms every night on our way home and wondered if I'll ever be able to spend a night there. God is good and cute too! He gave us this gift certificate and viola! Were booked this week, were having friends over to chill with us and see what these luxury life in Shangrila hotel is! ... I'm bringing sushi.

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Paramore 03.09.10

Nearing 30 and loving Paramore, I know... Shouldn't I be listening to the more alternative or country perhaps? My husband and I went to see them live here in Manila last March 9, 2010... It was dynamite! I loved every bit of it! The band sounded better live and the crowd was great! Of course, it was a crowd of mostly 15 year olds so what do you expect of the energy it would generate?! I was singing my heart out and the hubs was like a standby guard... He's the real 30 year old person there between us, he acts like his age and doesn't scream at all! He's just there watching me have fun and making sure I get lots of pictures! He's amazingly cool like that ;)

So anyway, Hayley Williams on vocals was just as I expected, really cute with fire blonde- red hair! Her voice never cracked though jumping and headbanging, running about the stage like a lit firecracker, such great energy makes me want to be young and live forever! She's rockin' awesome!

I love Paramore and they sure want to be back in Manila! I guess they never expected that they're such a big hit in a country halfway around the world from Nashville!

Rock n' roll!

Goodnight sweet Renee

My heart is badly bruised right now...Renee is gone. I can't believe she is. She's been very kind in leaving me comments whenever she could ... 'such a sweet soul. I will miss her.

with all my love and prayers to her family, from Manila xoxo Sassy.

Easy

Things aren't as rough as it has been for me, with my countless self- irrational arguments, I'm now calm... Health is being taken care of with my constant running and medications, husband loves me more everyday... Begins to really sink in between us that were really married for the rest of our lives and there is NO divorce in the Philippines to fix that in case we change our minds in the future... Were happily glued to this so far.

Work is good, my purpose and values aren't compromised in any given situation, headstrong and opinionated as always! Though I indulge into lots of laughter and humor in most days at work, that's ok, part of being me.

I feel good, my books on the floor are waiting to be stacked up on our newly available shelf after our brand new cabinet has been installed... Aaahh... Life is sweet.

And I love you.


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We landed.

Finally were here! We broke into the Manila scene! Ack. I'm super excited I don't know what was I thinking trash talking my job at the back of my head!... We landed our first ever project in Manila after years of constructing for other countries we are finally going to do a project that I'd be able to visit on site! This is amazing! Were going to build the most expensive skyscraper by far in Makati City and I'm so excited because it's going to be a breakthrough in architecture design too with it's maximum use if natural lighting! Do I sound excited enough or what! Haha. So I sloshed down a glass of red wine and got drunk! A glass will do that for me since I don't drink at all, it's the first time regardless if how many occasions I've been this is the first time, so I was laughing all the time and talking a lot, I think everyone did too! It's a really happy moment for us! So cheers!

Well. Well

Were almost done with our India Airport project, thank you Lord!!! 'wrapping things up and were on to the next which is another airport but this time in Doha, Qatar. Airports are big time in construction right now,eh! As were trying to get a second Airport job in India... They are building two in different cities and we got hold of the one in Delhi and hopefully, we get the one in Mumbai too come this March or April.

Meanwhile, I'm doing fine. I've never felt better and good about 2010! I try to keep things positive after my bout with "blood" illnesses and mini depressions! I am now great, with my spirit running free on the treadmill! That is all I needed a release from the pressures of work and have a life besides my cubicle!

Stress kills, so I won't let it get me! I'm listening to music again and hanging out with friends! The husband is great, he's happy to see me always beaming and noisy! Haha. I guess it's all about the pressures of work that made me unforgiving of myself and now that it's almost done, I can breathe...

tsk.tsk men.

My friend played bodyguard all throughout the process that I was left to be with the trainer, as you know she suspects that he has a "thing" for me... I'm that hot! Yes, I am. I sizzle! (At least my husband thinks so too!)hehe

And so I went along with the schedule and routines he gave me for "free" ... That could be creepy to think about knowing that the cost of a trainer is 1000 bucks per session and he's giving me time for free. Well, it was different yesterday, we talked the whole time I was running and was lifting weights and apparently he's just friendly and he said I make him laugh and it breaks his usual serious-strict trainer mode. I believe that. People would laugh around me a lot, I don't know what kind if tweaking does my brain have that it got loads of things to laugh about even at the worst!

Anyway, my friend too who came spying on every routine I was involved with this trainer said she did not notice anything suspicious with the way he touches me. Okay, it was only yesterday when she said he was looking at me differently...tsk.tsk were just like silly highschool girls to think he's really infatuated with me! Sorry.

...Well, I'm just nice too, I guess. It's what made him become friendly towards me and I count all the friends I have, turns out I've got lots for all occasion! Haha I really dont have anyone to hate and I think having as many guy friends have made me not pretentious or uneasy when meeting new guy people. So I guess that's just what it is, I'm one of the boys and sometimes they think I'm too much like one of them that I get a heavy tap on the shoulder as a greeting!!!

Tsk. Tsk. Men they're not complicated, when they think of something they want to do, they just do it, they don't have all the other options that women present themselves with... I wish I could be like them in that sense.


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run the 10 minute first.

My shallow life of whining about gyms, aging knees and the regiments of the corporate world is me being childish and selfish. I cannot whine and give up just because it's tiring and boring...I have no luxury to doubt whether this job is truly my passion, it does pay the bills -- straight, cold and flat as that, I need the job. My thirst for freedom and nomadic adventures will have to wait until I retire for I cannot gamble away my stability for anything uncertain... and that is not an original thought, everyone knows about it! That when it comes to stability and security it is often the boring, sad part of life... I'm just talking about jobs here and not relationships, don't get me wrong there!

It's just now that I've pondered about it quite a bit long, for like 2 hours ...hehe that long, about how many passions do I have to actually turn into jobs and won't be bored about it in the future? I'm always excited and anxious to start something new, but give it five years and I'm already out there whining and cursing! I may be the rock that has gathered no moss for moving about ... But maybe that's because I'm tumbling on in search for a greener pasture! I never want to stop looking for something else to do, when I get to be good at doing something familiar to me. why?why?why?

O why?

Yet again, I have no such luxury to doubt.

Thursday that was.

Gym was as rough as it could go for me I tried but you know how first tries go, it's either you go at it with a beginners luck or give up on it while walking the treadmill for mere 10 minutes and hating herself ... Guilty. I will try harder, I'm sore all over and I beg for no more, have mercy on my aging knees. Really, 29 is different from 15 when I could go forever without tiring, it's tough but it's paid so I have to hit the gym again though my pride is bruised, I'm not healthy as I thought I am.

Have a happy weekend everyone!

Love,
Sassy.

Wednesday II

The gym has won over my pride and the hubbys wallet! I have signed up again for gym membership for a year and probably for as long as I can run those treadmills and yoga my way through life. I needed it! Iam convincing myself that the cost is nothing to the health and fitness it would benefit me... But I'm still a bit shaken about how much it ripped off my hubbys credit card! ack! But anyways, it's all been done, the papers were signed and the free goodies we already took home. I tell you, I will work my a** off to get my moneys worth and do those yoga stunts and go to those belly dancing classes every single day! Yup, I signed up for those too! I tell you, when I do something I really go extreme so I also got the hiphop and the retro dance lessons! I'm mad!

I'll start fitness today, wish me luck.

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Wednesday

Haha my computer at work has broken down! But why am I laughing? Work is pending and it will eventually catch up on me with awful revenge! Grr... Why does it have to get fixed so soon!
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Tuesday

Another very exhausting day, what's new between the moon and Manila? It's always been like this, busy and when you stop, you will definitely go hungry, so what do I want being busy or going hungry?

I wish there is a job that I could never get tired of after 5 years of doing. It is exhausting to be always definite and precise about things, I want my creative juices to flow beyond the rigorous adhering to rules of shapes and distance. I want to be an artist and not exactly what an architect does! ... I breathed hard on that one... I may be out of my mind to think that I don't want to be an architect anymore but I wish I knew what I want.


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fabulous.

Okay, so I dont understand anything about the lyrics except for some english parts, this is a Korean girl group performing in the Philippines, I was mesmerized. How cute! ^^

I'm Filipino but have no trouble understanding Mariah Carey singing to her songs or Taylor Swift or watching those english movies because most people here do speak and understand english very well, but now I get a chance to know what it's like to be Korean or Japanese or Thai listening to music I dont understand but still like it. I'm now liking many songs that are Korean and Japanese not caring for the lyrics or if they are in Hollywood all I care is when they are entertaining and good quality.

cheers to music, it bridges us across language barriers!

Some Class

From the time I was again gone from the bloggie world though I intended to stay and write my heart out in all the days of my life, I failed to do so but I have plenty excuses why (and I thought of a better excuse this time besides being sickly and ridden with work,) I have actually caught up with Culture and the arts! Yes, yes I did read Pride and Prejudice finally and now halfway reading Sense and Sensibility, and have acquired a copy of what a tour to the Louvre in Paris would be like... I have not shelved that dream, I will still be able to go to Paris as my supposed travel in 2006 was cut short prior to my birthday all because WORK has called me back! Work. It's a love and hate relationship as you all know it is 60 percent of my being and the rest of the 40 is shared among family, friends and karaoke. But without my work I wouldn't be walking the historic streets of Boston nor drool on the picturesque Venice, work has taken me to places and countries I thought I'd be ready to die upon seeing! 2010 and I'm still alive I guess that's always the feeling when you find something very very nice you feel you owe your life to it!

It's nothing to boast, my being in several dream countries were because of work assignments, without it I won't even own a passport. I have seen the " exotic" as they say, the progressive, the poorest and the coldest and warmest places in the world, yet the more I see the more humbling the experience... I don't walk their streets as a usual tourist but live in their neighborhoods, learn basics of the language,eat what they eat and adjust to the time in wherever region of the country our buildings are needed to be built.

My travels have not made a louder version of myself but made me see how life goes on for others parallel to mine and will continue to exist even when I'm gone!

To me in my world in my own understanding, there is no race, there is no color, there is no such big difference in the way people want to be valued, our difference is in our convictions reflecting into our character making some evil and others angels.

I will let you know when I will be going to see the world again this year, if were able to get some projects in Dubai I'll take you all with me!

Meanwhile, pray that this year will all be better for us!

Kisses!
Sassy.

helloooo world

...and before I begin I would like to say many thanks to everyone who has been so nice in welcoming me back into the bloggie world even if I had been a delinquent writer for coming and going with many inevitable excuses... I still have some more here, I should be lying in bed and get that much needed rest and twiddle my thumbs for a bit longer ... but heck! I'm writing!!! I miss you all really bad that this keyboard will have good chances of breaking, mah fingers are burni'n!!! type!type!type!

So anyway, I found myself lying in bed groggy that Friday evening...a pretty woman in white had pat my shoulders calling my name with a "miss" ... I'm "mrs." my brain called out, I knew this is how it's going to be, I'd be in bed with oxygen mask on and wont have any recollection of whatever happened inside the Delivery Room...(I have not given birth!)though I wish I had!:) I love babies! All the women beside my bed in the Recovery Room had babies wheeled in for them to nurse and I got none, the humor in me wont STOP even if I was there lying motionless in bed, my brain had worked several jokes about babies being given to me by mistake and I would take them home. ANYWAY! I just had a D&C, a procedure that they consider so common they assured me I'd be OK and will be back on my feet the next day... well... seems like they're right. I feel okay more than I expected though I'm taking precautions, why push myself when I can lounge around and file sick leave at work? This is the best time to be eating and sleeping right while I can, 'cuz once I'm back into the "work force" I'd be my old self...always wanting to do healthy stuff but actually can't, BUT I vowed to go to the gym once I feel perfectly better! promise!

Well... LIFE... the sleep that they had put me to was not the sleep I thought it would be...I thought I'd feel rested and calm, but when I woke up, it was odd that there seem to have been a blank space in my memory, where I could not recall anything other than the whole process of being butt-naked with Doctors and nurses moving about preparing me for the procedure... aarrgghhh... I know.... you will hate the feeling too, of being without control and butt-naked! I had tried covering my face but you know that wont work...they still would know me, my hospital records hang at a corner!^^ I was laughing at myself, in my head I was!...WELL, I could be dead when I wake up and none of it would matter! How would I know if I'm not dead yet when I wake up??? Well...glad that I was wheeled outside to see my mom and the husband at the waiting room...their faces skewed with worry! BUT I gave them a thumbs up and joked "it's a BOY!!!" ... my mom immediately "shhhuuushhh" me, "you shouldn't be making all that gestures and talking!" OKAY, I'm alive. I love GOD. He never fails me. I knew I'd be okay and I trusted the Doctors and Nurses that there'd be NO video or photos that'll surface of my butt-naked encounters with the instruments! Nasty!

Amazing how these drugs can switch you on and off consciousness...

Amazing are these Doctors and Nurses and everyone who save lives for a living! hats off to the REAL LIFE HEROES!

xoxo
sassy.

This Day

This day will be awfully weird I will go in the hospital and stay there for 2 days but I feel fine I could run the Boston Marathon!!!...well NOT but I'm pretty sure I feel great. So why? Because I will have to undergo D&C...yeah that sucks, for all the women out there who had one please wish me luck, I'm not a huge fan of hospital beds and needles!

Love,
Sassy


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This device

hello 2010! I'm using blogpress to make my blogger account mobile because I've missed many many occasions to write due to my constant coming and going from work anyway I've missed you all so so bad that I will try to read as much of the posts you made and will promise to leave sweet comments afterall I wouldn't be here if I didn't care! So here I am hope the bloggie world still wants me.

love,
Sassy.


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