perfectly imperfect

masculine lines eh?

I was lent a book by our Structural Engineer about writing. YUP! writing...besides being our senior struc. engineer, a family man, 'guy with lots of stories and advice to share about life, HE writes... and how I wish I could...because I'm not a writer per se, just like owning a guitar but doesn't really play it, I write. I write without knowing if I get my message across 'loud and clear! 'I know lots of other bloggers do, with beautiful-expressive words and that sort of made me ... "hey! wait-a-minute" myself ... because I'm nothing like that.

I don't usually wake up with days that's bursting with ideas on what to put on my blog and all will be brilliant and funny and witty... and how I wish I could. BUT nah-ah! like many contadictions in my life, I have plenty much skill but none that I master!

Like when I pick up a piece of paper and start doodling, I end up making quite a masterpriece as they say, with my hands working on lines that are too masculine, dark and heavy that no one would even suspect it's my work ... (damn! even line-strokes has gender!!!) BUT when I'm asked to do something for like an art contest or exhibit or something, I LOSE IT...I don't know where my hands had kept those "muscle-memory" for me to make all those strokes come out in a canvass! YUP, frustrating ... a lot of times that I had to deal with standing up in a room full of other "artsists" only to stare at my blank palette and brush untouched. I have dealt with a mentor who looked at me with huge disappointment like I had sank Titanic ... So NO. I'm not a true artist. Besides not being a good writer, I'm no artist. If having the attitude and moodiness of an artist counts, then yeah, I'm one.

... BUT before I make a complete realization of how my life is extraordinarily typical. I'll stop. I'm not perfect but I'm not too hard on myself either. If I can't do it like others can, I wont dwell on it, I'm probably bound to do other things, better things ... different, but that makes me, ME. So, I'm gonna do ME. Like what everyone should.

of women, scandals and rights

This is not the media attention you want when you're a star and have a steady career going on in modeling and showbiz, neither while you're a private person and is pushed to fame for the wrong reasons.

Difficult times for these women, I wont name names anymore because they are already enduring the pain and shame of the scandals that they were in. You know how media could make or break you and how they're never sensitive about feelings and the real people behind those issues, all they stand for is the "juicy-ness" of the story, if it would sell or not. In fact, bad news is more of a good news to them! That's just the way it is and honestly, as a reader? I am for the controversy too while the news about the good and triumphs come second, say Feature Stories but not actually News.

Anyway, the story is about 3 videos that plagued the Internet for weeks now about a Cosmetic Surgeon that videotaped his "more-than-what-friends-do rendevous" with women from showbiz (a young sexy star, a print and TV ad model and a Brazilian model) without their knowledge. This already sounds criminal but since the law has yet to get updated by these type of violation involving videos and the internet, the only case that they could file is under the "Anti-violence against Women and their Children Act of 2004" quote:

"Sexual violence" refers to an act which is sexual in nature, committed against a woman or her child. It includes, but is not limited to:
rape, sexual harassment, acts of lasciviousness, treating a woman or her child as a sex object, making demeaning and sexually suggestive remarks, physically attacking the sexual parts of the victim’s body, forcing her/him to watch obscene publications and indecent shows or forcing the woman or her child to do indecent acts and/or make films thereof, forcing the wife and mistress/lover to live in the conjugal home or sleep together in the same room with the abuser;

However, out of shame and battered dignity two of these women wont show up. I bet they wont. The young sexy star is battling it out on her own, for she has appeared and filed cases already.

But what a mess!

Everyday on the news there is an update, like there are 11 more videos that'll surface and the other day, it's already 40 tapes! It's like an avalanche! Jeez! This guy is sick. To think that he doesn't look like it. He is young and good looking and rich with a brain to be a cosmetic surgeon. In fact, he's done liposuction among the rich and famous people and also building a career in modeling and showbiz himself, SO what is wrong with him? ...

hmmnn... well, my mind is telling me that there is NOTHING wrong with this guy. Seriously, there isn't, he will just use the alibi for being a "psychiatric case" to get away or get some sympathy or make an explanation for his behavior, BUT to me? haha ... what are you talking about? You are not sick my friend.

It's the bragging rights that you were after when you made these films and shared it with your frat mates! To have a line-up of beauty queens, startlets, singers, international models ... 'come on!!! Don't make fools out of us, 'cuz we know why.

I am just deeply sorry for those women, so sorry that it had happened. I just wish that there is a way that could undo everything. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, it's not just you and your trust that he violated, it's all womens' OR maybe it wasn't in his intention to share it to the public but it had leaked anyways ... so, you know, he still has to go by the law. So, I urge YOU to ... come out ... put covers on your faces or something, but do go out and file cases! The video will be out there your whole life, I tell you ... if YOUTUBE has deleted it, it'll come in many other forms! Like blog links, CDs, DVDs ... print ... anything! SO you better make a stand now and do something or regret that you let him get away with it.

Women. Know your rights and please be honest and true to your values.