sick but not ...

I had not been feeling well yesterday that I went straight home from work, read a book and went to bed. My husband who's so worried wanted to take me to the hospital ... it was 10:30 in the evening. I myself was scared and not sure of how much blood I already lost though besides a headache, I wasn't feeling sick or dizzy. I just wanted to sleep and felt my body was tired. I'm bleeding...again. It's semi-normal to me that I bleed instead of a normal monthly period, that would last about a week, mine would last 2 to 3 weeks of beyond normal blood shedding! It scares me everytime ... every month. That whenever my period is here, I'm afraid that'll kill me! >.< Eversince I started having my period at 9, it had been this way. Much worse when I was in highschool when I had to receive several blood transfusions due to anemia. Odd enough to say but my condition is now deemed NORMAL. Yup, you heard me, this too happens to other millions of women out there who experiences excessive menstrual bleeding. Though of course I have to tell you some probable underlying causes that I had received treatments for way back when I was a teenager. I was given oral contraceptives (Trinordiol) and Provera to help balance my hormones, as I was diagnosed with Hormonal Imbalance... (that explains my mood swings, depressions, and major PMS-es! imagine that as a teenager!) my bleeding is regulated by Daflon and my blood supply is sustained by Iberet Active (Iron Supplement) and blood transfusions in worst cases! It's so much easier now to recount those facts than being in that situation at the time when I was an active student in highschool, I was in a Science-Oriented class with subjects for Advanced Science and Math, more like half College and half High School Curriculum (spell ..G-E-E-K ...), I did Arts, Music, Sports and Dance (spell ... uber G-E-E-K ...) imagine the inconvenience that my "illness" brought me! I was young and so not ready to die!!! I remember the time when I had been bleeding profiously that I was already having convulsions and was vomitting nothing but water, I was an emergency case, Doctors and Nurses surrounded me and did their best to keep me awake and stabilize my blood pressure as it had dropped dangerously low ... a near death experience? YES. I was just praying sooo hard... and was ... smiling ... smiling? Yeah, I knew I was smiling, I wasn't delirious! I knew I was smiling. I smiled in between barfs! I was smiling at my mom and my siblings who were there and was crying in a corner who thought they'd lose me that day as though it'll make them feel okay. My brain is too active watching the doctors and listening to what they were doing but my body was revolting, convulsing and I couldn't stop it from happening... I almost died if it wasn't for the blood that came from a volunteer who came to the hospital earlier that day when my mom had asked for help from our neighbors and from other towns for blood donors! The man is said to be a security officer who came from another town, donated his blood for me and took only the hard boiled egg that my mom prepared. Thank God for those kind of people!

I survived. Though I still have to endure what's said to be "normal" for me now. Normal, in a sense that my cycle is normal, though it's long and on the heavy-flow side I don't have to take medications for hormones anymore, that I don't have cysts that were visible after my period and that the doctors would tell me, "I am not sick, wait 'till she has a baby and then it'll wash off" ... hmmn ... I wonder when. My OB says, I should consult her when were ready to have a baby, probably for some tests and work ups if ever I get a hard time figuring out my cycle... hmmnn ... so, today after realizing my life ... I'm stronger. I'm not letting this get me down. My husband needs me and I don't want him worrying about me. We will see my OB on Saturday, who knows more than a check up we might consider consulting for a baby soon!

work and hair things.

'Never been so excited to be at work ... I know I sound like a total geek, but the thing is ... it's better than to come back from a vacation for nothing! People are losing jobs everywhere and I'm still lucky that my company is staying afloat amidst the global financial crisis! Oh I'm not the best person to discuss that but all I know is, I'm gald to be at work and there are projects for me to work on. So today, was pretty hectic, I know... it's hard to get back on track after having been away and was just eating and sleeping! So, it was a bit of a challenge for me to stay awake and focused. Though my lines and dimensions are still pretty straight and accurate, it's my butt that can't sit still!!! I've been going around so many, many times ... just walking past cubicles and looking around, spying on people if they're really as eager as me to be at work ... hmmnn ... probably just like me, glad to be back but not to eager to work. ssshhhh....

anyway, besides work, I cancelled an appointment with my hairstylist because I was running late from the office ... (you see I'm dedicated har.har.) When I got home I was pretty sure my bangs are long enough to affect my vision! I was whining at my husband for not being early that I could have catched my appointment. Seriously, the bangs had to be snipped!!! Funny but sure can do, my husband volunteered to do the snipping, "Honey, it's just the bangs! I'll do it!"

...Well, we go together for trims usually on the weekends, so he knows that I recently had my hair done, going in just for the bangs wouldn't be so practical ... BUT dont worry, I don't really trust him to do my hair, so I got the scissors and did it myself. Viola! bangs if bangs it is!!! It looked alright and saved me money. If you're wondering what it looks like, it's a full bangs ... Katy Perry style ... 50s style or something ... I don't know how close the look is but I like it!!! I'll have some photos up tomorrow! =P

Home for a Week!

After days and days of nadaaa, I'm back in the cyberworld. As I have completely disconnected myself from the world outside Bicol (my hometown) I didn't even use my cellphone to contact anyone too! haha... no wonder if I'll get "who are you?" looks when I'm back to meet my friends at work! =P

Well, there were two days squeezed in between 3 holidays, so me and my husband filed a leave of absence for those 2 days and was gone for a full WEEK!!! (how fun is that?!) So, WE went home to my province went to the beach, ate out, joked around, grilled some fish, planned an extension room at my parents house, played with my niece and ate, a lot!!! Now I have to go to the gym and work it out seriously!!! But I could never realize that while at home, my mom and dad would never tell me anything about weight, they always think that I'm way too thin and keeps feeding me loads of delicious food to put on some pounds! tsk.tsk.

Anyway, it was great fun to go on a feeding frenzy with my 6 feet 1 inch tall of a brother and a very pregnant sister whom I'd leave very disappointed if I went out there only to eat like a bird! I was very happy to be there. I was well reminded of the good, old days when I was still in school, still living with my parents, everything seems easy ... well, I can always come home whenever I can, right? I get the best of both worlds ... as my 3 year old niece would say in a Miley Cyrus way. Yeah, the best of both worlds ... The BIG City with my career and ambitions and The Good Old Town where my heart and home is.

'Can't wait till it's Christmas!!!

Snapshots: Lent

Here are photos of the life-sized images depicting Christ's Way of the Cross in Legazpi City, Albay that we saw on Lent. Some of these images are a CENTURY old but are constantly being restored and cared for, for the future generation as these are priceless antiques and heirlooms. They are presented to the public in a procession where it has become a tradition and a tourist attraction, but above all, may it be a reminder of Christ's love for mankind.

of bags and birthdays

Every girl should have a RED bag, it's flattering and an instant "pick-me up" color. It goes with anything too ... uhmmm yeah maybe not especially with purple! I don't know maybe for some it works but for me ... it's not an easy match. Anyway, I got this RED bag at my favorite mall, ST. Francis Square, which offers loads of great buys plus you can still haggle for the prices to go way down a bit more! yup! surprising isn't it? Well, they are usually direct suppliers which is great, they have their own products to showcase and I have a favorite store called Charice that makes their own clothing line, they can even customize a design to fit your size perfectly! Besides that, they also do imports from Hong Kong and Bangkok which is great 'coz I've always considered Bangkok a shopping paradise! Good quality at a great price! In fact, I still have this pair of khaki pants that's still looking new, after 4 years! hmmnn ... it could also be the detergent I'm using, but khaki pants are hard to maintain especially when you got a color that you don't ever wanna wore out! Like a perfect brown-beige that might easily fade by frequent washing... aahhh the joys of Chatuchak (night-market in Thailand).

SO, anyway... 'love this RED bag that's got pockets and room for all my stuff. 'Love the fact that it can also be a sling bag 'cuz it's got another strap that you can easily clip on to the sides ... great buy at 200 pesos! WHAAAATTTT???! 200 PESOS? yes, that is like 4. 16 in US dollars... I know. I know it's a steal!!! haha ... but what can I do? I've mastered the art of haggling!!! hehe ... of course they wouldn't give it away if they don't have something for it so trust me, don't feel guilty!!! ^-^

AND ... besides the fabulous find, I have a day to share with you. It was yesterday when my hubby decided to celebrate his birthday though his birthday was last March 20, he decided that we could have a lunch party in the office on April 3 ... aahhh you know the story, we were broke last month for his birthday that we only spent a dinner of soup and pasta with two of our best friends. BUT as you know, birthdays are ought to be celebrated! It's the wonder of life that we ought to celebrate each birthday, a blessing, a gift. So yeah, we had food brought in to the office c/o an officemate that has a catering business ... SUPERB food, the chicken barbecue with sauce is the best ever!!! Also the Pancit Malabon which is a recipe of noodle, seafood and veggies! yumyum! and for dessert ... we had Buko Pandan ... a green gelatin of Pandan leaves and shreds of young coconut meat. yummy! We were all stuffed and happy!

* To my husband, Happy 29th birthday! I wish you good health and wonderful things! Thanks for being a blessing to me.* kisses*kisses* MJ

Damaged

Ok. So I've been obsessed of how things will turn out between the Philippines vs. Chip Tsao ... remember the guy who blatantly discriminated Filipinos in a Hong Kong Magazine? ...ahhh ... very fresh memories, in fact it may never fizzle out of my memory, ever! ... I know, I should just get over it, what is said is said, the damage has been done and it is leaving a scar. A reminder perhaps that no matter what, we are in defense of our race. Which is so sad to note that within this century ... for heaven's sake we have not learned anything from the past at all, we are just going around and around this whole racism crap! I am 28 and at 28, I know better than to categorize myself as a lower being just for my skin color or for which THIRD WORLD COUNTRY I come from. I know for a fact that in this life WE CAN NEVER FAIL AS A RACE OR A GENERATION, WE CAN ONLY FAIL OURSELVES AS HUMANS!!!

And this, isn't the first time that Filipinos had been insulted in media ... there are a lot of times far more worse than Chip Tsao's article. Oh I know all of them ... one is even written by our own citizen for which of course again we had to "defend" ourselves. Over and over again we had to. Why bother? Because it HURTS. For no other reason, it just HURTS that people wouldn't care of leaving you the least bit of dignity. All the more that they have the power to broadcast! It makes you want to hate back. It makes you want to discriminate too ... afterall, if they HATE you, why would you want their LOVE anyway? Most of these discriminating people are the ones who doesn't even give a damn, so how dare of them to think they are better? How dare in their ignorance are they better?! If they were Saints and has given themselves to the need of the world and had mocked us for any wrong doing, then maybe I would listen and be ashamed of myself. BUT for Chip Tsao? or the racist others? ...

hmmnnn ... this isn't going to end is it? Not in our lifetime.

Well, this is my last bout against Chip Tsao ... (for now) all he has to do is to make another "apology" a good one ...he'd better try again because he gave us a really lame one. It wasn't even an apology, it was an excuse. He thinks he can fool us with using the word "servants" in another context like "public servant" or "God's servant" as if he had meant the same when he called our country the "Nation of Servants." tsk. tsk. what a guy!

I can't even believe this whole racist issue had sprung from the "Who owns the Spratly Islands?" WHHAAATTT? Geography Mr. Tsao. Geography. I bet you can't pull the islands closer to where you stand that's why you just had to hit below the belt!

aaarrrggghhhh... make me stop! (deep breath)

OK. so at least I had it all out, that's what heartaches need. Loads of time to write! hehe and it'll be all gone! I have nothing against the Chinese people though. I have friends who are Chinese, one of my bestfriends is marrying a Chinese guy pretty soon, 'tell you again ... we cannot fail as a race, only as humans ... so, Chip Tsao and his publishers owes it to us. We deserve a sincere apology and not explanations.

Skyscrapers, Vacation and a Movie.

Good morning! I've been missing in action for a day, well... haven't got a thought or something that would really define what my day was yesterday ... it was all but work! Things are finally revving up as proposed projects are coming in ... I've never been too excited to have more skyscrapers built anywhere in the world, I usually just take it as work! But now, it does say something in my life, afterall, this is where I get all my spending power from!

Anyway, until we have the plans and instructions in our hands we will be waiting BUT for now! yeah! now is even better! We got a long vacation next week for the Lent, more popular here as the "Holy Week", I know ... time for fasting and reflection, maybe for the last 3 days of Holy Week, I'll do just that.

Today? we watched a movie with friends, Monsters vs. Aliens ... yeah kidstuff! But you know, it's nice to laugh and be entertained without having to decipher whatever the movie is all about after a long day?! It's just pure entertainment, no headaches and what if's.

hmmnn... so that's what I did for those times, we ended this day with ice cream (yum!) @ Haagen Dasz, superb!