The Gorgeousness

I have real insecurities though it's hard to tell cuz I don't really mind being seated in between two gorgeous models in the gym looking so out of place that people could wonder what kind of nerve has grown on me that I don't budge.

Anyway, yes you can tell me about the inner beauty that matters, but...my insecurity has nothing to do with that aspect, at Ieast I know within myself that I'm a "loving" kind of person... Teehee...hee. what I have is an insecurity that could only be caused by a tall, slimmer figure and gorgeous brains. yes! They are everywhere, I've known one brilliant surgeon who's real beauty on the outside doesn't hurt. Witty, charming, elegant and all that fabulousness were cast upon her and I wasn't there when the "casting" spell happened to human kind.

But anyway, the point of it all is just to love who you are and be your best self. The only person who can live your life is you. So take it as it is because for sure, there will be more times in your life when you'll get to meet people who seem to have it all. Instead of cursing the mirror, why not just let them be in their fabulous selves and you be your best self. I need effort to be beautiful cuz I wasn't blessed with a perfect complexion and that forever long legs! I do take time moisturizing everyday and flossing, cuz some can be just devastatingly beautiful even if they had just woke up with rustled hair and puffy eyes... They could still land that Ralph Lauren campaign I tell you!

So yes, imma be my best self. I love me, don't you just love you?

Have a happy Friday!

love from Manila,
Sassy

helloooo world

...and before I begin I would like to say many thanks to everyone who has been so nice in welcoming me back into the bloggie world even if I had been a delinquent writer for coming and going with many inevitable excuses... I still have some more here, I should be lying in bed and get that much needed rest and twiddle my thumbs for a bit longer ... but heck! I'm writing!!! I miss you all really bad that this keyboard will have good chances of breaking, mah fingers are burni'n!!! type!type!type!

So anyway, I found myself lying in bed groggy that Friday evening...a pretty woman in white had pat my shoulders calling my name with a "miss" ... I'm "mrs." my brain called out, I knew this is how it's going to be, I'd be in bed with oxygen mask on and wont have any recollection of whatever happened inside the Delivery Room...(I have not given birth!)though I wish I had!:) I love babies! All the women beside my bed in the Recovery Room had babies wheeled in for them to nurse and I got none, the humor in me wont STOP even if I was there lying motionless in bed, my brain had worked several jokes about babies being given to me by mistake and I would take them home. ANYWAY! I just had a D&C, a procedure that they consider so common they assured me I'd be OK and will be back on my feet the next day... well... seems like they're right. I feel okay more than I expected though I'm taking precautions, why push myself when I can lounge around and file sick leave at work? This is the best time to be eating and sleeping right while I can, 'cuz once I'm back into the "work force" I'd be my old self...always wanting to do healthy stuff but actually can't, BUT I vowed to go to the gym once I feel perfectly better! promise!

Well... LIFE... the sleep that they had put me to was not the sleep I thought it would be...I thought I'd feel rested and calm, but when I woke up, it was odd that there seem to have been a blank space in my memory, where I could not recall anything other than the whole process of being butt-naked with Doctors and nurses moving about preparing me for the procedure... aarrgghhh... I know.... you will hate the feeling too, of being without control and butt-naked! I had tried covering my face but you know that wont work...they still would know me, my hospital records hang at a corner!^^ I was laughing at myself, in my head I was!...WELL, I could be dead when I wake up and none of it would matter! How would I know if I'm not dead yet when I wake up??? Well...glad that I was wheeled outside to see my mom and the husband at the waiting room...their faces skewed with worry! BUT I gave them a thumbs up and joked "it's a BOY!!!" ... my mom immediately "shhhuuushhh" me, "you shouldn't be making all that gestures and talking!" OKAY, I'm alive. I love GOD. He never fails me. I knew I'd be okay and I trusted the Doctors and Nurses that there'd be NO video or photos that'll surface of my butt-naked encounters with the instruments! Nasty!

Amazing how these drugs can switch you on and off consciousness...

Amazing are these Doctors and Nurses and everyone who save lives for a living! hats off to the REAL LIFE HEROES!

xoxo
sassy.

thanks life.

That's what I've been coaching myself to think, "get a life!" DO NOT DROWSE! It's my first day at work since I have been hospitalized for bleeding myself to almost dry that I had to be a vampire by a needle to survive. I'm wobbly that's why the husband is like a "stage dad" watching my every move and asking if I'm okay every 10 mins...oh he cares a lot right now, I've given him such a scare. I wont DIE, not yet at least I have to make it to my birthday this Friday and my wish is to live a longer happy life. ^^ Well these things happen, at least our marriage is tested for what we vowed for "in sickness and in health" ... we're just not ready for the next phrase the "till death do us part" part, that's why we said "until we both shall live" in our marriage vows and not the latter because it sounded better... I mean, the moment seems perfect to say that I will stay married to him even in death...nice eh?! ^^
Well now, I just wish for a mind reader that directly feeds into my blog as I have been wanting to write but the trouble is time and my ability to write in the midst of daze and tubes...but I'm well now, I'm at work proof that I have survived stubborness and not taking care of myself... hit the gym! hit the gym! I swear I said that many times in my hospital bed that I will go back to lifting those weights and sweating it all out! whew. stubborn. sassy. me. next year promise, 2010!
Anyway, lets head off to my hometown where we'll be in a few days to spend the holidays and like my oldest friend LIFE isn't giving me any normalcy... I just want a holiday and there goes Mt. Mayon spewing ashes and lava, tremors and all that volcanic erruption thing, I could see Mt. Mayon from our backyard!!! Well...it's hard not to see Mt. Mayon anywhere in my city...it's as majestic as you think it is...how you would draw a volcano when you are told to do so is how it looks...triangle in 2D, perfect cone in 3D, perfect circle on top view!!! Lovely and WILD! She's our muse, she's beautiful but dangerrrrrous. We never blame her for any destruction, oftentimes people are lured to stay close in awe of her beauty. What can you do about the forces of nature? It doesn't choose a time, if it has to fill our land with more land, what can you do??? Boulders would shoot up in the air like it has no weight but the sizes of which ranges from a refrigerator to as big as a house!!! Such a spectacle from afar. I have my fondest memories of Mt. Mayon's erruption in my head and it includes barbercue at the park with binoculars! If you happen to have lived in Legazpi City where Mayon is you will understand its BEAUTY and SHIFTING TEMPER like a true woman it is hardly predictable but unassumingly charming. So yes, even if the news says people are evacuated and will probably stay at the evacuation centers 'till Christmas, Christmas will still happen! Nothing can stop it! For as long as everyone keeps a distance, Mayon erruptions will stay as a spectacle rather than a calamity, it's brialliant to watch how it glows bright red in the dark, really I tell you it's eerily wonderful...there's some hint of delight in danger... I'm out of my mind, don't listen to me, I'm under medication so bear with me will ya? :) OUT.

sick and fine.

...and I thought I'd make a really cool come back and be starting my post with something really awesome after I've been gone and excused myself for a while for I had gotten myself stuck with loads of work to do...Anyway, this isn't a COOL come back at all, I'm at home and had just woken up, rested but if I may tell you why I'm at home instead of laboring myself out into the world... I got sick. Terrible, terrible of me to let it all happen, WOMEN of the world LISTEN, drink your IRON supplement, never let it pass especially when you got your "time of the month" -- I was too proud to think I'm fine and could do lots of overtime work and sleeping late! Yeah my head thinks so but my body just gave in one day. I couldn't get up, I couldn't breathe and couldn't eat, that's how bad it was for me last Wednesday. I woke up and felt queasy, thought I'd just give it a day's rest as my husband went on to prepare for work, if I had not tried to get up from bed to make breakfast I wouldn't realize I'm already too weak to stand, it feels awful that my mind was so stubborn it had to make me try getting up thrice leaving me gasping for air and was very thirsty. The mind is powerful, it says whatever you want to hear but your body can never lie especially when you're bound to be in danger.

I knocked at the bathroom door where my husband was with very slight energy, I was too weak to knock an alarming knock I was afraid he won't hear it from the shower trickling so loudly so I tried exerting an effort to shout out loud "we need to go to the hospital!"

My husband found me seating at the edge of the bed leaning against the wall, I was conscious enough not to fall anywhere else but the bed or else I might hit my head. I really thought I'd die, there's no excuse for taking all the signs and symptoms for granted, a simple case of a "months" period would've killed me!

We reached the hospital at 7:30 am, they ran sorts of test on me and told me that I'm suffering from severe Anemia and needs a blood transfusion, later that night I had a bag of blood hanging above me, I instantly felt warm and better, my husband took care of everything and he was very thankful that blood transfusion is possible, thanks to whoever invented it! Husband was a donor in September he never thought that I'd receive be needing a bag of blood one day...it's the best gift... My birthday is next Friday I'm glad to be alive!

Lesson, do not let yourself get caught in something you think you know everything about..."Life is full of surprises" and not all are FUN.

my BIG happy City.

Hello bloggie world! It's been a tough, tough week for me but I'm fine now...I think everyone here is keeping their spirits up and is very positive to be moving on from what the Typhoons have brought the country. Help is flooding in, that's the kind of flood we want, HELP. ^^ Everyone's been very generous with helping in kind and in prayers. Thank you all.

Meanwhile, I'm sharing you photos of Manila I took 4 days before the flood happened. Aerial shots I took while on board a plane back to the "BIG CITY", you can see the greens and the buildings and the colorful rooftops...several places there have submerged in water, but we are hopeful in restoring everything to it's beauty.

So here goes Manila's Cityscape.

greens and buildings

colorful rooftops

manila bay on view

city by the river.

This is still my BIG happy city, despite the crazy weathers!

Have a good week ahead!

Love,

Sassy

bad yesterday.

We were struck by a typhoon yesterday here in Manila among nearby cities and provinces, the worst in 42 years! We all thought that it's going to be OK, at least as far as I know, we just let typhoons come and go without it affecting our "busy" work life in the BIG city. We never cancel a day on the job just because there's typhoon. Our buildings could withstand them besides the occasional flood that happens on expected below sea level areas, the city goes on with it's life.

We thought that the rain will eventually stop by the afternoon in time when everyone from work gets home, but it didn't, the rain came from dawn yesterday till the morning of today, worst is rising above 12-ft. in some locations. People got stucked in traffic in raging flood, some in their balconies waving curtains and bedsheets for the rescuers to spot them, some climbed up their rooftop drenched in cold rain with no food and without their belongings, some helplessly looking for their relatives, for kids especially whom they left when they'd gone to work.


-----------------
My husband and I are safe and dry. We got no work on Saturdays and our apartment building is located at one of the highest points in the City though our address brings a lot of panic to our families in the province since Pasig City is one of those cities that's been badly hit, the city is mostly submerged in water but our location is one of the few spared. We thank God a lot, almost in tears! We were supposed to transfer to a bigger place and looked in one of those homes that were unfortunately submerged up to the second floor! Our would've been neighbors perched onto their rooftops awaiting rescue.

We had no electricity though, our cellphone batteries were running out, we were eating canned food, our small apartment is lit by just one candle ... and we find humor in that amidst the calamity, that our apartment is indeed tiny to realize that we could brighten the surroundings by just one candle. ^^ WE texted our friends and relatives, relayed numbers that could help people in need like the numbers for the RED CROSS and TV networks that went on patrol. My parents texted me that I have relatives in different location that were stranded in their homes and might need rescuing, of course I feel bad that I couldn't do anything but pray for their safety. Well, that's all what we are unless we're RED CROSS or the Marines, we cannot go out and save the day. Our mortality smacked us in the face.


-------------------
Everyone is equal.

No one is rich or poor, celebrity or ordinary ... a famous actress was being interviewed on top of her mansion, ridiculous! How could they? Why don't they just airlift her, she's lost plenty for sure. MY rich cousin, had all of her Ford SUVs underwater and god knows whatever things she had swimming away with the flood... doesn't matter anymore. This is the worst that has ever befallen them and their properties but, she didn't care. All of her family are safe and that's what matters.

I'd rather go live simple you know and be happy with life from now on. Although I never did live large, I think I'd better not wish for more than what I can carry up my roof! BE grateful that we survived... I know we did for a purpose.

Stay safe everyone.
--------
Repost:For Offshore Typhoon "Ondoy" donation:BANK DEPOSIT Acct Name: The Phil. Nat’l. Red Cross METROBANK Port Area Dollar Acct.: 151-2-151-00218-2 Type of Acct.: SAVINGS Swift Code: MBTC PH MM BANK OF THE PHIL. ISLANDS UN Branch Dollar Acct.: 8114-0030-94 Type of Acct: SAVINGS Swift Code: BOPI PH MM For donations to be acknowledged, fax bank transaction slip at nos.+632.5270575 or +632.4040979 w/ ur name, address & number.Read More.

happy!

Hobby project 001: DONE!

I made bookmarks for my friends and gave it to them yesterday. I had fun making them and they were thrilled to receive it as presents! (it's just because, for no occasion.)^^ I named each after their names and color "coordinated" them with their personalities!

Here they are:


CHERYL

CHERYL

IRISH

IRISH

FLORDELIZA

FLORDELIZA

stand alone together.

We are but the same in many ways, except for our personal beliefs and how we practice that belief...oh no, not again...not another rant about religion, faith and how it divides us. Well I'm not talking about the world! As it already involve too many issues that you can't even root for the real cause anymore, it has blown out of proportion resulting to VIOLENCE which isn't found among the teachings of any major religion, odd isn't it??? They all teach peace, love and harmony and yet, look where we are now with these beliefs. tsk.tsk.

Anyway, I cannot talk about "peace", "RESPECT" and "harmony" if I'm not in the situation where I can practice what I preach! Preach, that's a BIG word. I don't preach. I just belong to this group of friends that I love with all my heart but happens to be born or baptized to different religions and denominations but WE get along fine and we do things together all the time without worry, without letting our differences get in the way, or without even noticing we had that factor among us! ^^ Isn't that nice? How wonderful the meaning of "respect" is? How it brings harmony and fun?!

Can't we just do the same? Like worldwide-scale same?!

your favorite season begins here first!

Time flies is such a cliche. I've heard my first Christmas song today on my way to work. For the season...season? oh well, we love to go over the top on everything around here, that we have the longest Christmas season ever! Starts from the beginning of the -ber months, September and runs up to February the next year! Ain't that long?!!! ...and Grand! We love Christmas, that's why. Little by little Christmas decorations will be put up on the streets, tiny golden lights that blink in sync around shrubs and trees, huge, colorful "Parols" (colorful lanterns) hanging on every lamp post and the malls, yeah the MALLS will be filled with the season's festive mood, SALE!SALE!SALE! is in the air! ^^

yay!

There'd been hints of "Christmas" as of last night, when we came around a steaming "Puto Bumbong" while strolling the busy streets of Pasig, we noticed a whistling sound and realized that it's Puto Bumbong!!! Purple sticky rice, stuffed in a bamboo shoot to steam... when done, the "puto bumbong" is shaken off the bamboo shoot and is topped with shredded young coconut and sugar, folded into a banana leaf for wrapping...mmmnn... yummy!!! Husband asked me if I want some but I said "NO!" We're breaking traditions here! This is too early for Puto Bumbong, they can't be making Puto Bumbong just yet, but there they are already making some and it's just August 31 yesterday! phew! I guess some people are little too excited than me! I still refused to have some, it's meant to be eaten by December especially after the "Simbang Gabi" ... (nine nights/dawn of novena prayers for your Christmas wishes), it's one of those traditions that I grew up with, but if others want to have them as early as September they're NOT breaking the law, it's just the whole wonderful meaning and memory attached to it that's being broken! You can't give away Christmas cards in March, that's what it's like... and I'm just a sentimental fool, that's why!!! ^^

Anyway, we do so many things about this season that's why we have it as soon as the -ber months come. We just love festivities! We just love making reasons to gather and eat! To bring out the lights and outdo our neighbors with the grandest decors! haha...

So,The season have started from where I am and you're certainly invited to join! ^^

Traditional Parol made of bamboo sticks and colorful paper

A modern, parol with programmed lights made of Capiz Shells and wire

Puto Bumbong (is prepared only within the Christmas Season)

Simbang Gabi, (nine nights/dawn of novena mass, Dec.16-Dec.24)

P.S.
Not to worry, we still have time to celebrate Holloween in between all of these!!!

thoughts weaved into strokes.

Yesterday were about lots of thoughts ... and when I'm thinking too much, I lose words for it, that I just start doodling ... After so many strokes and thoughts consumed, I ended up having a bunch of blue roses. Each stroke has a thought embedded to it.

Don't worry, it's not entirely about somber thoughts. They were many different things as I'm not capable of handling just one thought! haha... 'always been thinking too much and always ending up with a smile.

my superhero! xoxoxo

We were planning on to having a pretty much normal day when we ended up having to give BLOOD DONATIONS. err... what??? yes, we did ... Well, I decided to see my Doctor today because I don't wanna be absent at work anymore, so if she's IN this Saturday (which she is) I'd go see her ... AND SO, my husband did it for me and I was there in support. He was so sweet to do the donating and never had a second thought. He is Type O and I'm Type A but since I will be needing a stand by for my "minor" surgery, he is donating his own blood for replacement. That's how it works, NO money involved ... you get a bag of blood, you pay with "two" bags of blood, for which I didn't let my husband go through, he's a first time donor and though he was very persistent to give 2 bags... I said "NO" we will just have to look for another donor. One of our friends for sure will turn up as soon as we let them know!

He was smiling the whole time and we were laughing at times. He's feeling like a SUPERHERO, for having donated blood and saving lives. It was easy for him to get tested because he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and has no tattoos. Usually those were the questions asked for the prospect donors and he immediately passed it in no less than 45 minutes!

I'm so touched by what he did and am now aware of the importance of shedding a bag of blood to save lives. It's a different feeling to see his blood in a bag and I was there cheering him on ... and that I wanted to touch the bag and feel it, like it's the most precious thing on earth!

We went home after where I was soooo good to him, I cooked meals, let him get rest, played a DVD for him to watch and made pineapple juice. All because he was so brave and nice.

I love him. ^-^ I'm proud.

up and running!

Happily, I'm back from my lab tests and my (fun-to talk-with-like-a-long-lost-friend) Cardiologist, signed me a very positive recommendation, that yeah! my OB could take tissue samples from me and I'll be OK while she does. Only have a bag of blood Type A on standby because I apparently have Anemia! Anemia! That's it... Fantastic, that anemia thing I could easily correct with double dosing my Iron Vitamins. yum. I have NOOOO heart ailment whatsoever, that though the ECG has revealed a skip which later appeared to have normalized. I'm perfectly fine! How weird that I die for like 5 nanoseconds!!! haha ... but the doc said, I'm normal having climbed 4 flight of stairs when the elevator was taking too long and was afraid of missing my appointment with him! haha ... That was actually where I got my A+++ rating on my tests! ^-^

whew. That was a bit of a scare, wasn't it? That I thought I had more than the one I'm complaining about ...(the OB thing) ... whew. Health is wealth my dear friends and I just realized that I can't be suicidal. After all the lab tests that I had been through, the needles and tissue extracts?!Plus the exposure to people who are probably more sick than I am at the labs and clinics I went to?! jeez! There is no way I'd die without a battle.

And surely, I'm not just talking about health issues here. I'm talking about life itself. HOLD ON. There is just no other way in life than to live through it.

so take care.

down and out

It was bad yesterday, not as I expected to have a perfect bill of health and walk away the hospital feeling light and breezy! Now, it's a heart ailment I got. Somehow my ECG revealed a skip in the manner that my heart beats ... hmmnn... when will I get back into my normal self. I'm already getting annoyed of going back and forth the hospital and around sick people. OK, I'm counting myself with them but the thing is: I don't feel a thing. I feel great! I miss my daily routine, I want my life back. BUT this week will hardly be normal for me and maybe the next week too, as tests will continue. I hate this. That's all.

Going under the knife. If only I'm a getting nose job!

'was out yesterday and again went to the Doctor. This time I got ECG in prep for the "tissue extraction" I'm undergoing for biopsy... it's just a minor surgery as my Doc said... but 'ya know, hearing the word surgery is like "whoa!" whether it's minor or major or whatever key it is ... uhmm ... haha.

Anyway, yeah of course I'm scared. I would be lying if I say I'm brave and I'm confident that many had had it and the risks are very low. I'm shivering inside, I just don't show it 'cuz hey! it's MINOR! 30 minutes and it's done. grrr... why am I so being negative?! I'm worried! Maybe it's the whole "putting-me-to-sleep" that's scary. I hate being not in control of things and not being able to know while I'm asleep. silly me! of course I don't see myself sleeping, has anyone have? weird!

It's the idea that I'd be put out of conscious while people I don't really know are around. Though it's a guaranteed 1st class hospital with celebrities and high profile people go to.heehee (thanks to my health card, I got access.) still... if only I could get around with it! I would.

hmmn... well, let's just pray things will work out fine and I'm sure you will all be there for me, in thoughts and in spirit. My husband and my mom will be there for me definitely! I'd never go to the hospital alone. NEVER.

ooopppsss. time to cut this short. I have a dinner with my hubby and our boss tonight! so... see ya later!

Best time to Quit.

'Went to see the result of my ultrasound today and it was as brief as I expected it to be, as my Gynecologist have always made me wait longer than the consulation itself. I arrived 3o minutes earlier and she arrived 30 minutes late. I'm pissed. Yes, I am. I want to find another OB only for that reason. I don't know if she's just straightforward that I'm not quick enought to catch a phrase that she darts at me or she's just ... brief. As I said it a million times to anyone who asks me what the Doctor has had to say. brief. AND why not ask questions? ... yeah why not? Because I don't know what to ask, I'm sooo lost. I know, that my result has revealed a thickening of my endometrium that she needed to sample it and have a biopsy. It could be something serious, it could be not. It could be something bearable, it could be ... *sigh* We are not going there, I'm already nervous and scared as I can be with the procedures that I'm having. I had an X-ray and ... again 'have to be back 'cuz the result will come out this Saturday. I hate waiting. But it's how it works, it's not like I'm the only person in the world who has come to see a Doctor! So we'll wait.

Anyway, I have been loving all good things about life that I may have the tiniest thing to worry about. I can't be so selfish and give people around me the attitude just because I'm carrying around a thickened endometrium! I mean look! The sky is all gray and is bursting into cold rain every 2 hours, people get wet, get stuck in traffic, walk in flood wetting their shoes and socks on ... people do have other things on their own and I cannot be selfish. Bottomline is: If I begin hating life for why I'm bleeding and sick, I'd get nowhere but to sit and cry and let the good life pass by me! We will all have to deal with sickness anyway at some point in our lives. Some would make it through and some wouldn't. It is selfishness to not let go and wanting to live forever, that's why we should learn how to accept that life for others will go on and that the world will keep on going with or without us.

So if my lab tests are worse than I ever expected. This is Quitting. This is quitting for a quitter that is not going to wallow on the bitter side of life. But is quitting for others to see life better. It's a total surrender ... that I'm not gonna be all over asking for sympathy, that I'm not gonna look like I'm going through these tests and is always nervous for the results! Because I totally understand that the world has bigger issues than mine. That I'm just a tiny speck on this lovely, blue planet. That I am just a number. That I am just human classified for her age, sex and race. That I am just a daughter that I owe my parents the happiness they expected when they brought me into this world. That I, will not be afraid anymore of anything.

You know, this life on earth is nothing but a chance, a one-time chance. a Gift for people who have faith that there is a higher being than us. That we are not just sophisticated machineries, but LIVE miracles. I believe in that. I want to. I have to, because in a case like this when you have no other choice but to deal, it is better that you hang on to something BIGGER, STRONGER and more POWERFUL, way beyond human understanding. Because when you have HIM, you can just give it all up and surrender ... and you can go on with your life losing a part of you that's sick and weak.

I know, I'm not the best person to talk about it. I know I'm not religious, but I'm keeping faith. It's just for people who needs more support than what people around them could give. SO, yeah! Bring it on! I'm ready for those needles and probes of my insides! ^-^ 'Hope they get what they were looking for, so I'll live longer and have babies!!!

all females, are you getting one?

What's for today is what was yesterday, as I'm still here at home not going to work for the 2nd day of my OB-Gyn Tests (how fun!) yeah, whatever. Well, I may be getting the HPV anti-cervical cancer vaccine, yikes. I don't know how long this vaccine had been available that I'm now 28 and I'm just getting one. My mom doesn't even have one nor my sister. My friends just had theirs and I think all women should get one. It has a great promise of keeping women off Cervical Cancer and other cancers that affect womens' reproductive system, 'sounds really good.

sick but not ...

I had not been feeling well yesterday that I went straight home from work, read a book and went to bed. My husband who's so worried wanted to take me to the hospital ... it was 10:30 in the evening. I myself was scared and not sure of how much blood I already lost though besides a headache, I wasn't feeling sick or dizzy. I just wanted to sleep and felt my body was tired. I'm bleeding...again. It's semi-normal to me that I bleed instead of a normal monthly period, that would last about a week, mine would last 2 to 3 weeks of beyond normal blood shedding! It scares me everytime ... every month. That whenever my period is here, I'm afraid that'll kill me! >.< Eversince I started having my period at 9, it had been this way. Much worse when I was in highschool when I had to receive several blood transfusions due to anemia. Odd enough to say but my condition is now deemed NORMAL. Yup, you heard me, this too happens to other millions of women out there who experiences excessive menstrual bleeding. Though of course I have to tell you some probable underlying causes that I had received treatments for way back when I was a teenager. I was given oral contraceptives (Trinordiol) and Provera to help balance my hormones, as I was diagnosed with Hormonal Imbalance... (that explains my mood swings, depressions, and major PMS-es! imagine that as a teenager!) my bleeding is regulated by Daflon and my blood supply is sustained by Iberet Active (Iron Supplement) and blood transfusions in worst cases! It's so much easier now to recount those facts than being in that situation at the time when I was an active student in highschool, I was in a Science-Oriented class with subjects for Advanced Science and Math, more like half College and half High School Curriculum (spell ..G-E-E-K ...), I did Arts, Music, Sports and Dance (spell ... uber G-E-E-K ...) imagine the inconvenience that my "illness" brought me! I was young and so not ready to die!!! I remember the time when I had been bleeding profiously that I was already having convulsions and was vomitting nothing but water, I was an emergency case, Doctors and Nurses surrounded me and did their best to keep me awake and stabilize my blood pressure as it had dropped dangerously low ... a near death experience? YES. I was just praying sooo hard... and was ... smiling ... smiling? Yeah, I knew I was smiling, I wasn't delirious! I knew I was smiling. I smiled in between barfs! I was smiling at my mom and my siblings who were there and was crying in a corner who thought they'd lose me that day as though it'll make them feel okay. My brain is too active watching the doctors and listening to what they were doing but my body was revolting, convulsing and I couldn't stop it from happening... I almost died if it wasn't for the blood that came from a volunteer who came to the hospital earlier that day when my mom had asked for help from our neighbors and from other towns for blood donors! The man is said to be a security officer who came from another town, donated his blood for me and took only the hard boiled egg that my mom prepared. Thank God for those kind of people!

I survived. Though I still have to endure what's said to be "normal" for me now. Normal, in a sense that my cycle is normal, though it's long and on the heavy-flow side I don't have to take medications for hormones anymore, that I don't have cysts that were visible after my period and that the doctors would tell me, "I am not sick, wait 'till she has a baby and then it'll wash off" ... hmmn ... I wonder when. My OB says, I should consult her when were ready to have a baby, probably for some tests and work ups if ever I get a hard time figuring out my cycle... hmmnn ... so, today after realizing my life ... I'm stronger. I'm not letting this get me down. My husband needs me and I don't want him worrying about me. We will see my OB on Saturday, who knows more than a check up we might consider consulting for a baby soon!