HE talked to me.

Just as I was having all these wondering about LIFE. I had a revelation today (if you call it that) while my mom had to literally drag me to church ... I know, I sound like a toddler for not liking to sit still for long and listening to long monotonous sermon! BUT as always I tend to surprise myself each time I make this kind of statement ... I was listening attentively and was singing hymns ... Well, that tells me something ... I'm back ... I should be. After listening to the reading and the verses that speaks about death and life and a girl who had bleeding problems and was cured when she touched Jesus' garment, hah! if that isn't an outright message to me, I don't know what is! Yeah, I really think the message was linked to my "stupid" human idea of I'm smarter than what I'm told. I know, there are plenty people inside the church, it was packed that people are standing on the aisles (as in every mass!) I just wonder how can the world be so cruel when the churches are filled with churchgoers every Sunday! I just wish people will do more good after being immersed in the place of worship. Well ... yeah that many people BUT I really, really know in my heart that the message was for me. Personally delivered by God to my tainted heart and withering soul! It was a message for me as it starts with the book of Wisdom, talking about death, that death is not from God but is overcomed by God when He resurrected ... you see? there is HOPE! haha ... just like what I wrote in my previous blog ... I wanna know HOPE. AND there it is, through the words in my Sunday mass. How brilliant was the explanation that it felt personal. Like it was intended for me and how accurate the message were.

Imagine, my recent visits to the Doctor are brought about my "bleeding" condition and that I was already subjected to get a D&C, so as to get tissue samples for biopsy. Twice that the procedure had to be suspended due to some "causes" ... like the 1st one, I had caught the colds and cough, that the Doc hesitated to proceed with the D&C because I had "cough" infection and fever for 2 days... the second time I was already lying in the operating room, lab gown on and was being asked questions trying my hardest to recall my medical history ... when the resident Doc had known I had eaten breakfast, she said ... we can't proceed unless the anesthesiologist says it's OK because patients should not take anything by mouth 8 hrs. prior the surgery ... darn!!! I had eaten bread and drunk hot chocolate! ^-^ Well, I wasn't told to do so ... my Doc has memory problems and I know myself too well to forget things like that! My husband was sooo mad that we decided to consult a new Doctor!!! The next day was Sunday and that's when we went to mass ... the reading was about a 12 yr. old girl who has "bleeding" problems and was healed by her faith. Coincidence??? Well, what a good coincidence that the reading at Church has answers for my doubts and medical condition! weird and amazing. "Now you see." mom said.

It's pretty awesome how God talks. How I feel small and "stupid" for ever doubting and letting the thoughts of death be painful. I know it is painful ... for our mere human understanding, it is painful ... it is unimaginable pain ... but HEAVEN is a promise by God. Who am I to challenge that?