of mothers,brothers and daughters

Sleep was tooo bad but it was because I got pretty excited my mom and brother is coming over to visit. So we spent the night, tidying up our place, skewing and moving about furnitures to see if the place would get any larger (?!) But nah! urban-apartment living can't get any better ... (yeah, in-a-bad-way.) Space is just too precious around here, that I haven't seen too many places with large rooms, except maybe if you live around those expensive villages with security, or Condos that cost millions, yeah ... you'll get your space! But for us, as typical-hard-working members of society, who had happen to live in the province all our lives until work ... WE get this place. Where one could see the whole house by just standing at the door step. ^^ Anyway, for starters, this is OK. It's accessible to the office, grocery, church, hospital, parks, museums. YES, getting a place like this with all the amenities close by is tough, so we stick around though we are lacking room for my closet alone!


Anyway, that's not really why I'm here. I know I haven't written anything for 2 days ...'been very, very busy at work, 'been sick all the time and had lots of stresses lately. BUT, here I am alive and will sort things through. promise. I wont be hiding away from the world and not communicating, especially with my Doctor who had to see me for my test results, but I did not make it because we were rushing on things at work that I had to work overtime while having the flu. aaarrrggghhh....

Beautiful just beautiful how my world is just so crowded right now, with lots of things going on that I'm starting to feel tired and crumbling inside. and I just wonder what more for others who have worse? ... how do you deal when your body is your enemy?! There is no escape...

Well for that, when you can't seem to get away ... we have mothers and brothers who'd make you realize that you still belong. That besides having a life of your own and the love of your own, after leaving the house and tried finding yourself, YOU will only realize that finding yourself is better when you have your ground.

That yes, I was like the others who wanted to go as far from home as possible to be my own person. BUT lately ... at 28 ( too soon?) I realize that I'm becoming more and more of the person that my "mother" is!!! ... the way I talk, the way I run my marriage ... (hehe), the way I act on certain things kinda resembles my mother, even at times that I hated to react on it that way! I am going to be like my mother (I figured.) 'tried to deny it for sooo many years that I will NOT be like her (on some things) BUT I am becoming ... HER.

Will I ever avoid it? avoid it, YES. Stopping it? NO. I think it will go on and on in the family, for as long as there are women in the family, YES! haha. I think my sister does too ...'think that she has some characters instilled in her by growing up in the same house and having the same values, she too will have our mother's character in some ways ... BUT I think she's a subtle version of her, she's got all the good side ... of being nurturing and loving, of being smart and confident. While I ... I don't know exactly what I got but my husband does tell me ...

-"you are sounding like your mother each time ..." (yikes! haha)

-"Oh, I'll tell her you said that" and he's like,

- "why? what's wrong with sounding like your mother?"

... haha, Oh, I know what he means by that! BUT, mothers ... I appreciate them more now that I find myself being at the place where I want to be (working my way into the BIG city), now that I spend my own cash and buying toiletries, kitchen and "carpentry" stuff ... all the none "glamorous" plumbing stuff, that only mothers wouldn't mind shopping for... I appreciate them more now that I live away from our family house that I just miss home cooking ... err ... wait, my dad cooks! He does the cooking all the time!!! (because he cooks better!) haha ... and now that home cooking means "my" cooking, it's not the same. Home cooking is always the best, because I get fed without having to worry how it happened!

hmmnnn... mother.... i cannot thank you enough! So, where does the brother come in this tale? Well, brothers are like brothers ... they just come and eat and play and do housework. I'm close with my brother, he's like the male version of me ... only that, he's more... cool and relaxed. I watched him grow, he's just a baby in 1986 and now he's 6 ft. 1 inch tall, and trying to find his way into this world... finishing University and looking for a job ... well, I hope he finds it easy ...I hope the world wont be as bad as I know it is for some, I hope he gets his goals right ... because he loses focus at times ...'spending lots of nights with the boys out and that's what he's gotta learn how to control ... his time! Well, I'm sure he'll figure things out and I'm sure he's gonna be OK as life goes. He deserves good stuff 'cuz he's a nice guy.

Wrapping things up! I'm glad they are here, because when I get exhausted with life, I can be just a daughter taking orders from my mother like the way it's supposed to, even if it's my house our culture says that whoever is the oldest person in the house rules!!! so ... i'm chilli'n, i'm just a daughter and my husband is just a son, we are all kids in this house as long as there's a mother!

we are all somebody's child for life afterall.