i was like this.

Well, yesterday was my first day of work without my hubby on my side. Not that I cling to him all day, but the thing is: he is very much devoted to seeing things for me before there'd be any problem...yup! that's how he is and he's been like that eversince we've become a couple. My life with him is pretty much a "spoiled" wife's life... not materially, but on all the other things that would make all the other women wish their husbands are like... too much of a gentleman! hmmmnnn, that's a good thing isn't it? and there shouldn't be anymore problem... well, there is: He went away for a business trip and like all the other trips he had to leave me for, I struggle to be independent. I struggle of sleeping alone in bed, I struggle on eating meals alone and I even struggle with the errands I have to make to keep our house running. Those are the sad parts but as quick as I had to respond, I'm now assesing my life as to how I lived before we were married, before I met him and before he took over my share of responsibilty. I was thinking about how I managed to cross the street without having to grab his arm before we met ... how I managed to be confident in speaking in public while I was still in school ... things that I did before I met him ... amazes me now on how I was able to live that life! and now... as I'm left alone for maybe just a few weeks to a month... I'm learning about myself once again... I cannot be the person that I am now for being loved so much! I cannot be dependent and seeking of support from others when I should be able to carry myself to do and face anything. I am my own person and though I love my husband and the things he does to love me ... I have to be myself, I have to give myself a chance to survive not needing help... at least when my husband comes back, I'll be able to say that he can't be worrying about me as much, because he knows I'll be able to cope and I'll be able to love him more than I need him.